tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197779742024-03-05T04:17:48.907-05:00The KammeraadsWe are a work in progress... :)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.comBlogger171125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-34545965671702703122012-08-16T01:07:00.003-04:002012-08-16T01:07:42.704-04:00Feeling Poured Into
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What a day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God kept
pouring on the blessings again today, and we are just all feeling so grateful!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We could feel it; Carlos noticed and could
feel it too – it was really great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Two days ago the kids were invited to participate as extras in
the shooting of a commercial for a local university.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The filming was this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The compensation was a gift card for each
child with the idea that they could use it toward school supplies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been meaning to go and buy some school
supplies for the past week, and I’m so glad that I waited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took the kids to the store this afternoon
and let them each pick out something that they wanted (they both chose small
Lego sets) and then we used the rest for school supplies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The amount left after the Legos was exactly
the amount to cover the supplies minus about $2.00!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How awesome is that?!</div>
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Kevin dropped us off at the set this morning and went to do
a show at a local preschool before picking us back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were done before Kevin was back so we were
sitting outside waiting for him, reading and talking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The production manager walked out to her car
about 15 minutes into our waiting, and when she saw us she stopped and smiled and
said that she was just looking for some kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She asked if they liked to color and draw and when they answered that
they did, she proceeded to unload a stack of coloring books, drawing pads, and
a brand new huge set of markers for each of them!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had bought them to help keep all the kids
at the shoot busy while they were waiting for their time to be on camera, and
she didn’t want to keep them so she excitedly gave them to us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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About 20 minutes or so later, she came back out and said
that the crew was having lunch now and they had a lot and offered to share it
with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We declined at first, but she
insisted, so we were blessed with a delicious lunch from them as well!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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And then last week we had to take our van in to get looked
at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were several things that
needed to be repaired, and only one of them was covered by the warranty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were bummed of course, but what do you
do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin took our van to get a new tire
which is one of the things that needed to be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was told at first that they’d need to order
the tire and it would be a couple hundred dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when he took it somewhere else to get
their perspective, that guy also told him it would be that much to order a new
one, but instead of putting the bad one back on while we wait for the new one
to come in, he suggested that we put our spare tire on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turns out that our spare tire was in great
condition and was actually a better tire than what would have been ordered for
us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now we’ll just get a spare tire some
time in the near future when a used one comes in to the lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we picked up our van from getting
repaired today, and we surprisingly didn’t owe any money!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dealer where we bought the van covered
one of the repairs and they talked to our warranty company and they apparently
were great to work with and they covered the final repair that we had
left!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we thought we’d need to spend
hundreds of dollars today, and we didn’t spend any!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Praise God!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">We feel very poured into today. We feel very loved. We are looking forward to pouring into others...:)</span></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-56684417384968905542012-08-14T22:10:00.000-04:002012-08-14T22:53:39.640-04:00A Cool God Moment Today<br />
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All month I’ve wanted to take the kids to the zoo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a membership to the Grand Rapids
Children’s Museum, and they do membership exchanges with other museums and
attractions during different months throughout the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s such an awesome thing! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This month they are doing a membership
exchange with the John Ball Zoo, which means we show our GRCM card and we can
get into the zoo for free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been
looking forward to this as soon as I saw it on the membership exchange calendar
months ago. </div>
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Looking at our schedule, this was the week for me to take the
kids there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then today looked like
the best day out of this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, this
morning I told the kids we’d be going there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My original thought last night was that we’d go this morning, as that’s
when the animals are most active.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it
turned out that Kevin had to be somewhere and needed the van so we couldn’t go
until after lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a great
morning at home, but the kids were eagerly looking forward to when Daddy got
home so we could go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turned out to be
just one of those days though where I ended up having so many little things that
HAD to be done before we left, so I kept saying to them we’d go soon, after
lunch, after I do this, as soon as this is done, oh sorry, one more thing I
forgot to do, etc., etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were
really patient with me, even when we had to run two quick errands on our way
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We finally arrived just after 3:00pm.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carlos and Maria were excited!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had to park at the far end of the lot and
the whole way up the zoo entrance they were so cute talking about which animals
they wanted to see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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We got up to the ticket window and I told them that we are
GRCM members.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The woman asked for my
membership card and I.D. which I happily gave to her while the kids continued
to talk about animals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She then looked
up at me and asked, “Did you renew this recently?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My face fell and my stomach dropped as I told
her no and asked her why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She showed me
the back of my card which said that our membership to the GRCM expired on July
26<sup>th</sup>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh no!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stood there for a moment with my mouth
open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She handed me back my card and
said a simple “sorry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I glanced at the
rates board and then looked at the kids and then looked up at the woman and then back at the rates board and then back at the kids...and told them that I was so sorry but
we couldn’t go into the zoo today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Carlos asked why and Maria looked up at me and said so sweetly, “But I
want to see the penguins.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt
terrible as I took them aside and had to explain to them what happened, and that
we couldn’t afford to spend $24 to go to the zoo today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their faces and shoulders fell, but they didn’t
say anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just then two separate families
walked up to the ticket window and one turned to the other and asked if they
had a free pass to the zoo, while she was holding one out to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They thanked her but said they already had
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This woman looked the other way
(but not behind her where we were) and not seeing anyone else she started to
put the pass away saying that they had two passes and really wanted to give
this one away to someone since they didn’t need it and it was going to
expire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I heard this I jerked my
head up, and then sheepishly walked up to her and asked her if we could have
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A big smile broke out on her face as
she handed it to me saying, “Sure!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
reiterated that she was hoping to find someone to give it to and with tears in
my eyes (which totally surprised me!) I just said that it was a long story why
we couldn’t go in but THANK YOU SO MUCH because now we could!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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With his mouth wide open, Carlos took the free family pass
in his hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We couldn’t believe
it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a blessing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a gift God gave us today!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you God!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-11849083211544948992012-08-08T23:16:00.002-04:002012-08-08T23:16:36.668-04:00Catching up on photos - Spring 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiogg0JguNyztCdMcWqGFzPIl3aLDmJi_jZeZxBTVrVAkKEc-OZIArdM3CuMPzTtwqa3pEv2AkyMOOShdo_-Ynjaa671jQO_IubCsDyHkLFSb1s-7Vs5xNp_dadJqmWwySI6f0T/s1600/IMG_1478.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiogg0JguNyztCdMcWqGFzPIl3aLDmJi_jZeZxBTVrVAkKEc-OZIArdM3CuMPzTtwqa3pEv2AkyMOOShdo_-Ynjaa671jQO_IubCsDyHkLFSb1s-7Vs5xNp_dadJqmWwySI6f0T/s320/IMG_1478.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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At Riverside Park</div>
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Kevin's cousin Justin moved in with us this spring. We all love having him here!</div>
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We did a small unit on ostriches and to help Carlos grasp how tall an ostrich really is, I had him construct a tower the same height as one. At first we predicted that an ostrich would certainly fit into our living room, even though we knew they are tall creatures. After the tower was built and we tried to stand it up, we realized just how tall ostriches are! The portion that Carlos is holding in the picture would represent the ostrich's upper neck and head!</div>
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Viewing the butterflies at the Fredrick Meijer Gardens</div>
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We did an architecture unit and the kids were constructing houses. On his own Carlos decided to construct a bridge. We were impressed!</div>
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Kevin was part of Tulip Time this year, performing every day. All of us got to be in the children's parade! The Dutch costume that Maria is wearing was Kevin's dad's costume that he wore as a child! The costume I'm wearing is Kevin's grandmother's that she wore twenty years ago. </div>
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Kevin ran in his third 5K Riverbank Run, this year with Zach, Lori, and Todd. Kevin is mysteriously not wearing a numbered bib....you'll have to ask Lori the story on that one! :) (Love you, Lori!!)</div>
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This is the medal that Maria received graduating from preschool!</div>
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These were her teachers, Miss Colleen and Miss Marla. (They don't normally dress this way! The graduation theme of the school was a Disney one.) What a great year Maria had with them!</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-84082460360336829222012-08-08T22:38:00.004-04:002012-08-08T22:38:34.545-04:00Catching up on photos - Winter 2012<br />
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Some of Carlos' amazing art. These pieces are drawn with a wet brush on paper.</div>
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Celebrating Carlos' half birthday with half a birthday cake and half a birthday song!</div>
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February 23rd was Maria's 2nd Family Day. We've been a family of four for two years now, praise God! What a gift she is to us!</div>
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We gave her two gifts from Colombia: a pan flute and a small purse. </div>
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On each Family Day, Maria gets to choose what we do as a family on hers, and Carlos on his. One of Maria's favorite places is the Grand Rapids Children Museum. Her two favorite things to do there are to play in the big yellow car and to play with the pretend guitars. </div>
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One of her favorite things to do wherever they are is build with Legos!</div>
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Yes, that's a swimming mask on her head.</div>
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Carlos and I hard at work on a story he wrote after being inspired by attending an author visit by Jonathon Rand at a school where Kevin was also presenting.</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-80225221159232434142012-08-08T22:38:00.003-04:002012-08-08T22:38:25.170-04:00Catching up on photos - December 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For my birthday one of the things the kids and Kevin got me was my favorite drink: </div>
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Nantucket Nectar's Orange Mango - so delicious! </div>
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One of the traditions of getting together with my sister Natalie is that Carlos and his "Tia" play dinosaurs together. They've been doing this ever since he was two! He got his dinosaurs all set up so that they'd be ready as soon as Natalie and Tony arrived at our house. He took it very seriously - it was so cute!</div>
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We went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant - Brick Road Pizza</div>
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This is Natalie and Tony holding up the copy of Revue that our good friend Ryan illustrated. </div>
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Preparing our traditional Christmas Eve dinner: Food from Mexico, Guatemala, and Colombia </div>
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Homemade tamales!!</div>
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More photos to come of Christmas with both sides of the family!<br />
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<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-16339373241405578182012-08-08T19:22:00.000-04:002012-08-08T19:22:04.586-04:00Catching up on photos - November 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span id="goog_2094807903"></span><span id="goog_2094807904"></span>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-75213938883099991132012-01-20T01:37:00.000-05:002012-01-20T01:37:34.182-05:00Out of the darkness, into the light....Warning: very long post! (Sorry about that!)<br />
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I have been thinking about updating the blog on and off for months, but then I never seem to have enough energy to do so. I've also questioned if what I had to say was worth saying. I'm such an over-analyzer that by the time I'd decide that I did want to share something, days had past and then I'd feel like what I was going to write wasn't relevant any more, since it wouldn't be what I was feeling at that moment of writing. I also struggled with writing too much of myself. I want to honor God and I enjoy when I can share what He is doing in our lives. Over the past many months though, I have not felt that I had anything to share. It's not because He is not doing anything in our lives though, it's because I have not been in a good place to take notice. Which is what this post is about. <br />
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I have not been in a good place lately. I don't know how long it's been that I've been feeling this way, as it's been a gradual thing. I've been saying December was tough, because it was, but I wonder if it came to the surface of my consciousness last month because of all of the extra stress of the holidays, while it's actually been there for quite a while before that. What I'm talking about is this pervasive feeling of sadness and anxiety. I've been feeling disconnected, discontent. I've not had the energy to reply to emails or call people back. I cry a lot. I feel overwhelmed so often. December was definitely the worst with feeling all of this. There was even one day when I was home alone with the kids where I actually contemplated (for longer than I care to share) on how one goes gets committed. The idea of being drugged up to the point of oblivion, staring out the window for hours upon hours, was something that sounded so good to me that I wondered what crazy thing I could do that would cause Kevin to take one look at me when he came home and then make a phone call to have me "put away" for awhile. <br />
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And then the guilt came washing over me, as it always does when I'm feeling sad and anxious. What right do I have to feel like this? Why should I feel so sad and overwhelmed and anxious? There is nothing "wrong." I have my family, our health, I have friends, food, a house, etc. Millions of people in this world have so much suffering in their lives, why can't I handle MY life? It's hard at times, yes, it's been a tough year for our family, yes, but there is so much I have to be thankful for, how dare I feel this way? Now that I'm writing this, I think these feelings started last spring with the declining health of Kristi. That's when I first remember them, when Kristi and Brian shared with us that she only had a few weeks left to live. We cried so much for the following month or more. But even then I felt guilty for crying. I felt guilty feeling sad. I am just the sister-in-law, what right do I have to feel sad, overwhelmed, anxious, to cry, to want people to take care of the kids and us, when I should be the one taking care of Kevin since she's his sister. I should be helping to take care of Mom and Dad K since she's their daughter. I should be helping to take care of Lori because she's her sister. I should be helping to take care of Brian and the kids because she's their wife and mom. I should be the helper, not the one needing help. I struggled so much with this and felt such guilt that I couldn't "pull it together" to be strong for any of them. And those feelings have continued to this day. <br />
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I feel like there has been a cloud over me for weeks and weeks. It goes away for a little while, but it always comes back. Some days by the time I go to bed I think that I'm feeling better, and I'm determined to choose to be joyful the next day. Last week there was an evening where I even felt inspired to write "bring joy" (as that seemed easier, to <em>bring</em> joy to those around me rather than to try to focus my energy on <em>being</em> joyful) but as soon as I woke up I felt the cloud come around me and I had zero interest in bringing or being full of joy of any kind. And then I felt the d's again: discouraged, disconnected, discontent. <br />
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I started to feel better toward the end of last week and I was hopeful that our "new year, new us" mantra that Kevin and I have been telling each other was working and coming true. But then at church on Sunday, I felt horrible. I felt so uncomfortable and fidgeted through the entire service; all I wanted to do was run out as fast as I could. A friend saw me after the service and a simple "hi, how are you" had me falling apart in tears. I'm a mess! <br />
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Okay, so this is the backdrop for why I titled the post what I did. I have been in darkness. And I don't like it. I want out. Kevin wants me out. The kids deserve to have me out. I am tired of being tired, stressed, overwhelmed, guilty, sad, and anxious. I went on a trip to Florida for a couple of days with Lori and Ashley two weeks ago and it was so nice. I really enjoyed my time there and with them. It was just so...pleasant! I thought that when I came back I would feel relaxed and refreshed, ready to embrace all that was before me. But I didn't. Reality came crashing down on me like a freight train the night we came home, and I almost felt worse than I did before I left. And then the guilt followed, hard. <br />
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We decided to homeschool Carlos and never sent him back after Christmas break. This may seem abrupt to most of our friends and family, but it's actually something that we've been thinking and praying about on and off for the past two years. Carlos has been asking us on and off for that long as well. It may seem like bad timing for me given my emotional state, but...I think that the timing is just right. I knew that I wanted to start our days with Jesus, as I couldn't think of a better way to start our time of homeschooling together. We started that this week. <br />
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On Tuesday I woke up really early (not by choice!) and couldn't fall back to sleep. After a couple of hours of being awake, I decided to pick up the book I had started on the plane ride home from Florida, "Mistaken Identity." Something I read in there that was written as an encouragment to that family stuck with me. It said to look for God's blessings each day, to be thankful each day for what God gives us. I thought to myself that I should do that today. At another part in the book, one of the authors was sharing a song that was so meaningful for her family during their grief: "Praise You in This Storm." She wrote out the lyrics and I sung the song to myself as I read them. <br />
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Fast forward a few hours later, I was reading to the kids the devotional for that day from "Jesus Calling, for kids." The verse was Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." The author went on to talk about being thankful and to look for God's blessings today and each day. Hmmm...that sounded familiar! <br />
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That afternoon as we were driving home from Maria's preschool I turned on the radio for the first time that day and the song that was playing was "Strong Enough." The chorus of the song is this: "I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up. I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me. Lord right now I'm asking You to be strong enough, strong enough for me." That was fitting! The song immediately following was "Praise You in This Storm," - the song I read earlier! The chorus is this: "And I'll praise You in this storm. And I will lift my hands. For You are who You are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side, and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm." I considered this a great reminder considering all my tears on Sunday! <br />
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Carlos and I spent the day looking for God's blessings, pointing them out to each other, and being thankful for them. I did not feel the cloud all day. Yesterday was a cloud-free day as well. Today, still no cloud! Each day we've been reading a devotional and the verse we are memorizing together, and have been having great conversations about God and Jesus. Carlos is so perceptive and inquisitive and is such a thinker. These past three days have been good ones. Now I know it's likely that I'll feel sad and overwhelmed again, but I'm hopeful that I will continue to climb (through God's help and strength, and with keeping my eyes on Him), out of the darkness, into the light....Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-42797260489126503442011-12-10T22:49:00.001-05:002011-12-17T07:39:26.703-05:00October 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlYwftB8zWbIliKNfNBmVidhalkx2C5fO-ki34Eojm0WOvfVizvMWy-i5eHS6G7kneC_Vj92pXtE-gkMfhoplwISz-mST34_7DdhQV5MSd4Iruqti1J1skG0NckLh6KyYLP6_j/s1600/2011+August-October+236.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlYwftB8zWbIliKNfNBmVidhalkx2C5fO-ki34Eojm0WOvfVizvMWy-i5eHS6G7kneC_Vj92pXtE-gkMfhoplwISz-mST34_7DdhQV5MSd4Iruqti1J1skG0NckLh6KyYLP6_j/s320/2011+August-October+236.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">One of our traditions every fall is to go to Schwallier's Country Basket. The kids love it! I do, too!</div><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Maria turned 4 years old on October 8th! She is our precious little one! She is so quirky, and so...Ia! :) We love her very much! </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYSoqzjkw2M9LeW0ip2Ni1c-jY9TVHnCmi7qY1gk85u0yaosJVlGW1EPrSASNx8IJi6vULY-KKp63MUwII0iLT8FOKT8h1VvkU1CfYNEbGrLu1W10o6w4-LPnIZx4MqvOGNxzo/s1600/2011+August-October+298.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYSoqzjkw2M9LeW0ip2Ni1c-jY9TVHnCmi7qY1gk85u0yaosJVlGW1EPrSASNx8IJi6vULY-KKp63MUwII0iLT8FOKT8h1VvkU1CfYNEbGrLu1W10o6w4-LPnIZx4MqvOGNxzo/s320/2011+August-October+298.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> This was Ia's reaction to the card that Carlos made for her!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5G0RWrmGRf7V-UiJKqAtnbMhO31AitVNiDyZhcAeiAGxSXFsF79byTgXzX2iZSjV4255ZzEcfWzHB8hIXuxIS_NOJrLQLcUqzmUQZ32oN5rz1kOibEu6SGSU1gFPx4w-X1HW0/s1600/2011+August-October+313.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5G0RWrmGRf7V-UiJKqAtnbMhO31AitVNiDyZhcAeiAGxSXFsF79byTgXzX2iZSjV4255ZzEcfWzHB8hIXuxIS_NOJrLQLcUqzmUQZ32oN5rz1kOibEu6SGSU1gFPx4w-X1HW0/s320/2011+August-October+313.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx8SIVw05w35Bi74duvMtl2D0rwGWJ7o3fIKZOUCxogf9M-EMGl5Qb0E-lHDkw_2f88yAPojNzEJoUA0M4rLh5yN_JHZIcNQOu5-Qh9uW333n145PZoVYf9pgDAEJvvsZHl0IV/s1600/2011+August-October+322.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx8SIVw05w35Bi74duvMtl2D0rwGWJ7o3fIKZOUCxogf9M-EMGl5Qb0E-lHDkw_2f88yAPojNzEJoUA0M4rLh5yN_JHZIcNQOu5-Qh9uW333n145PZoVYf9pgDAEJvvsZHl0IV/s320/2011+August-October+322.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">A hug with Grandpa Kammeraad on her birthday that was too cute not to post! </div><div style="text-align: center;">It was so nice that Ia got to see all four of her grandparents on her birthday this year!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqGYD8NXZF-t8yYk_dWkQJWzI2wxHTEAa9AWZQMq6JQjYnI6OGrRJSQhHweRUGZlz1N5rR5pe93ZQzq3UNfXpYWC_BxOAu5FCueNrYSIbHQB3qBKQ20ebnmMKTMzu_NJdbjCC/s1600/IMG_0238.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqGYD8NXZF-t8yYk_dWkQJWzI2wxHTEAa9AWZQMq6JQjYnI6OGrRJSQhHweRUGZlz1N5rR5pe93ZQzq3UNfXpYWC_BxOAu5FCueNrYSIbHQB3qBKQ20ebnmMKTMzu_NJdbjCC/s320/IMG_0238.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> It was a little cold at Zach's football game!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJlfWD89k1b6loeQWKvzhDrTM0QobXCgdthTSD2wmk-i3PwwGTbv4hgLT0xgjmhmRtl12eMe4BV-w37YM9Z292VZ1rRuTxv3n0RAxhkKjypwHQiyOcJ0nHM7m07yUxaZse4FS/s1600/IMG_0275.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJlfWD89k1b6loeQWKvzhDrTM0QobXCgdthTSD2wmk-i3PwwGTbv4hgLT0xgjmhmRtl12eMe4BV-w37YM9Z292VZ1rRuTxv3n0RAxhkKjypwHQiyOcJ0nHM7m07yUxaZse4FS/s320/IMG_0275.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> Maria carved her pumpkin all by herself - guess which one it is?<br />
And if you look closely at the one on the right, you just might see a lightning bolt scar - can you guess what books has Carlos been enjoying this fall?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwHMrgO-MxPC9Vu3xxwTjnev_jJafBjpTktMxJmCRSDQod0tj4uSDW2XYQt-RWYA1sMna073IQ2BhCn7P7k1FBrnQqTg62-Dq26LvyK6XSoGhZx2MAhpONGRzvgVXQF7ceyNkv/s1600/IMG_0278.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwHMrgO-MxPC9Vu3xxwTjnev_jJafBjpTktMxJmCRSDQod0tj4uSDW2XYQt-RWYA1sMna073IQ2BhCn7P7k1FBrnQqTg62-Dq26LvyK6XSoGhZx2MAhpONGRzvgVXQF7ceyNkv/s320/IMG_0278.jpg" width="239" /></a></div> Maria loves doing "homework" when Carlos does his!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDY71t0u5XD3wWE1AkH5tP6ZZ89f1KFJGEmPNwsTRanp9Vd9zwYeUf_zyakTJa96uyQy8H98QuJfwA-mJDqCvcGV6CrQvCGqs5GchLLaOIL7lczFOrriVt0Y4EZ4hkRPhi942C/s1600/IMG_0355.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDY71t0u5XD3wWE1AkH5tP6ZZ89f1KFJGEmPNwsTRanp9Vd9zwYeUf_zyakTJa96uyQy8H98QuJfwA-mJDqCvcGV6CrQvCGqs5GchLLaOIL7lczFOrriVt0Y4EZ4hkRPhi942C/s320/IMG_0355.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>The cutest skunk in the world and the most delicious pack of gumballs, on Halloween</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-9134760478413308252011-10-11T06:45:00.002-04:002011-10-11T15:40:36.409-04:00Celebrating - August 2011<div style="text-align: center;">
Maria drew her first picture of a person! It was of Grandma Wenner:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtx8DDbkKtJwDNOzIaUY5cnrxUDX1Tr2rVzDFoeEjjBDHs2thmchwSyJNSfTc-9DvfPQCIdqomjp6n4O-JGDUFmHPvbFYGxKAKHPKEGwk19jTpCKEzBT0mPPrrLrnlgAcCCJeO/s1600/2011+August-October+074.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtx8DDbkKtJwDNOzIaUY5cnrxUDX1Tr2rVzDFoeEjjBDHs2thmchwSyJNSfTc-9DvfPQCIdqomjp6n4O-JGDUFmHPvbFYGxKAKHPKEGwk19jTpCKEzBT0mPPrrLrnlgAcCCJeO/s320/2011+August-October+074.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkleE6RCALtaZveIst2DeiO3e6LdDpHhwEukKcf5XsyouH396Frtmgdxy2mW_xuYercUDjO2aApwkN52JKFLuIdlD11R8fWb6JYf11QnTFvhL86KbIvGHinJeV3TNK15o5t8z8/s1600/2011+August-October+077.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkleE6RCALtaZveIst2DeiO3e6LdDpHhwEukKcf5XsyouH396Frtmgdxy2mW_xuYercUDjO2aApwkN52JKFLuIdlD11R8fWb6JYf11QnTFvhL86KbIvGHinJeV3TNK15o5t8z8/s320/2011+August-October+077.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then she drew a self-portrait:</div>
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Grandpa Wenner's birthday is a week before Carlos', so we usually have a celebration of both birthdays together: </div>
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Carlos and I are making eggplant parmesan and chicken parmesan</div>
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Carlos' actual birth day was very full!:</div>
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Carlos got to share his special day with his cousin Zach who was baptized that day. What a beautiful time celebrating with family!</div>
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Carlos really wanted a pinata for his birthday, so we brought one with us to our care group (small group from church) that evening. It was a blast!<br />
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It was so windy that the only way we could keep the candles lit long enough for Carlos to blow them out was to hold up a tarp over the cake!<br />
Carlos had a great day. He is our very special, very loved seven year old!</div>
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-19091272397723876002011-10-11T06:14:00.001-04:002011-10-11T06:14:12.387-04:00Soccer cuties - August 2011Carlos and Maria wanted to wear their Colombian soccer uniforms and play soccer in our front yard, and they were just so stinkin' cute that I had to take some photos! I later had Carlos change into his Guatemalan soccer shirt so we could have photos with him in that as well!<br />
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-16072408850131058792011-08-25T22:55:00.001-04:002011-08-25T22:59:22.267-04:00July 2011<div style="text-align: center;">June went by in an emotional blur, so July is when we felt like our summer actually started. And boy was it a full month!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5-XPJcmRtLjWYmsU2q-tjIvlN14bAtsMeb0-dhFj4ikRBG5mrxstTmXDAzPnHmd0qb_hr24DIXDyFz7YXQRoR1TblUaIVlNg6Q8RejZ9rkWpJuV1f_mrTF94FJ238PylQG0w/s1600/DSCF5819.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5-XPJcmRtLjWYmsU2q-tjIvlN14bAtsMeb0-dhFj4ikRBG5mrxstTmXDAzPnHmd0qb_hr24DIXDyFz7YXQRoR1TblUaIVlNg6Q8RejZ9rkWpJuV1f_mrTF94FJ238PylQG0w/s320/DSCF5819.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPzzSo40Fxr54ldkdBhDawBBfRRDlpUERlhkRVomN5kxyl6_JMyLAdu2PVxe_LowLQHp7RQ5GYk06GuEWeu46U_hs34voLlECNt5LGotcJwbL8neBtwW6oHvKX0Y9cC2ci_j7/s1600/DSCF5818.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPzzSo40Fxr54ldkdBhDawBBfRRDlpUERlhkRVomN5kxyl6_JMyLAdu2PVxe_LowLQHp7RQ5GYk06GuEWeu46U_hs34voLlECNt5LGotcJwbL8neBtwW6oHvKX0Y9cC2ci_j7/s320/DSCF5818.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Carlos and Maria love to help Daddy build things!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IISCucz6IDKoHDzpYoNNgGeLv7yzRPsGFdy6h4bmQ4UUW381z_TyYB-9c_dGUiikAY7qZuktMw0pQ_XGBD1HvVs6Y74WLa6S-TyCQg8oeCRW3_5ztpGWilv8VKLyUgdeRgJj/s1600/DSCF5868.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IISCucz6IDKoHDzpYoNNgGeLv7yzRPsGFdy6h4bmQ4UUW381z_TyYB-9c_dGUiikAY7qZuktMw0pQ_XGBD1HvVs6Y74WLa6S-TyCQg8oeCRW3_5ztpGWilv8VKLyUgdeRgJj/s320/DSCF5868.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Isn't she sweet?! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4EObIzdLA57fQ4HJ1k0RphCMynnj7O0KSIUmtfPmNmg-n8hDygoAPZx8CA8TbPa3C_YG6BbNf7cm8O3E4ZDRHKh57y1PRWTIGpm5Ld9Yyg92APCKJVwFUXQHWO2j8bkg0KVKe/s1600/DSCF5871.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4EObIzdLA57fQ4HJ1k0RphCMynnj7O0KSIUmtfPmNmg-n8hDygoAPZx8CA8TbPa3C_YG6BbNf7cm8O3E4ZDRHKh57y1PRWTIGpm5Ld9Yyg92APCKJVwFUXQHWO2j8bkg0KVKe/s320/DSCF5871.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Yes, if this photo reminds you of Spider Man you are correct - our son is part spider.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzurXIXess6OFy0BvVVFwR0fn3TzTfaOg2XBowcaj7eAb2vOhhiYoO5ZN1uB26gVzaxwJ6hUBqqq3peYQOF9lJauhk08KnyYEB_cnb-RlZUyf3nDg9iXsDTcgMCqYiIbZO-U5/s1600/DSCF5884.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzurXIXess6OFy0BvVVFwR0fn3TzTfaOg2XBowcaj7eAb2vOhhiYoO5ZN1uB26gVzaxwJ6hUBqqq3peYQOF9lJauhk08KnyYEB_cnb-RlZUyf3nDg9iXsDTcgMCqYiIbZO-U5/s320/DSCF5884.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> We celebrated Carlos' Family Day (July 18th) this year by just staying at home! (Carlos' Family Day is the day when we officially became a family of three. We celebrate it each year by doing things that he would like to do, eating things that he would like to eat, and by giving him a gift or two that is from Guatemala.) It was a very hot day (and we do not have air conditioning throughout the house) but I did manage to cook up his favorite breakfast of chocolate pancakes! The day consisted of having drawing time with Daddy, playing checkers (Carlos' favorite game), eating, watching a movie, and eating some more. For dinner he really wanted tamales, so we ordered some from a local Mexican restaurant and I whipped up some Guatemalan rice to go with it. We added a side of refried black beans and some tortilla chips - YUM!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Kevin was scheduled at library shows up in Traverse City and in Leland, so we all went together as a family to spend two days up there. We had a beautiful time together, walking along a river, enjoying historic Fish Town in Leland, taking a scenic drive through The Sleeping Bear Dunes, walking part way up the Dune climb, and eating at our favorite pizza parlor in downtown T.C.!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgPHCXFwSjAutYUkY__wRHorfUnIvhA0swZSXVY0GAem_woaKbb59V5bDe3R5fP2uNJNEP01fGm7gjmcQZlL2-xB_A9iVXqlkvnldgF_E-12YdIeEDgrJbyEch7h4CaZwf55J-/s1600/DSCF6009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgPHCXFwSjAutYUkY__wRHorfUnIvhA0swZSXVY0GAem_woaKbb59V5bDe3R5fP2uNJNEP01fGm7gjmcQZlL2-xB_A9iVXqlkvnldgF_E-12YdIeEDgrJbyEch7h4CaZwf55J-/s320/DSCF6009.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> This is the women's bathroom at the pizza place I mentioned in downtown Traverse City. It was the most spectacular bathroom I've ever been in; I think it literally took my breath away for a second. So I just had to go back in and take some pictures! (Although they don't do it justice I'm afraid. You just have to be surrounded by the 360 degree scene to fully appreciate it!) If our bathroom at home looked like this, I don't think I'd ever leave!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Kevin had another library show in Traverse City earlier in the month, and this time we went camping for four nights at the state park, and my (Stephanie's) parents came too! We had such a great time. We did so much biking! Carlos biked seven miles right along with Kevin and I one afternoon!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-14437676732251161142011-08-05T22:28:00.002-04:002011-08-05T22:30:24.190-04:00June 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwBgeJM_G7znKrmf_zdEdUwdw-_pWrKZsAzc7wfP8QoMOfsM1khX9HAcU41VTsHvCaX5Ofq05LDF8GG-UC0SKDvGLGSM5m7myAJm6P_G8s6t-z1HUyenaacFm6YfIp6e-seBpU/s1600/DSCF5234.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwBgeJM_G7znKrmf_zdEdUwdw-_pWrKZsAzc7wfP8QoMOfsM1khX9HAcU41VTsHvCaX5Ofq05LDF8GG-UC0SKDvGLGSM5m7myAJm6P_G8s6t-z1HUyenaacFm6YfIp6e-seBpU/s320/DSCF5234.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1bUsTARME8J69HKammmPhjO8H1ombzPa2eONlZICc1qPCbwlzCq_RHvNywG-SaCi4eiHgWO4BFf1FF_aCmzrNwMWOnpC8P7ZOMYI7A4j0196BcQCzouMJa8jGyr2NMEm8Hap/s1600/DSCF5243.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1bUsTARME8J69HKammmPhjO8H1ombzPa2eONlZICc1qPCbwlzCq_RHvNywG-SaCi4eiHgWO4BFf1FF_aCmzrNwMWOnpC8P7ZOMYI7A4j0196BcQCzouMJa8jGyr2NMEm8Hap/s320/DSCF5243.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">At the annual Guatemalan fiesta, held at Hager Park in Jenison, where dozens of adoptive families who've adopted from Guatemala get together each year to celebrate this beautiful country and each other</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnSMHAsWo_t3IAczMEN6h6QLxDGPPF8ZS0z_UnxC5e-h3lOwNkyUF6aGxtYXj6BHBI8Y1bek16gMxqatvDCz-5lKfXs3ROStff60kciGREAHIL-WG-PZ65gFIXEGXNp160nkwt/s1600/DSCF5271.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_FcMOLk3KXMNXX51MjRd-9iSEcYkHvrT9EmOgOW4x5_zFKEzpg2tWKtl_tBsELLv2VgZGFuURaIkZlDdX9-2JPK90ai4G2cQ6elqlpv1E50ANjK1XOTFC3f_0KrH14HrHis-/s1600/DSCF5475.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-85532564654519638302011-07-31T02:39:00.000-04:002011-07-31T02:39:02.084-04:00A Long Over Due UpdateI don't know where to start. I've thought about updating the blog almost every day, but more out of feeling a sense of obligation than out of a desire to write. I don't know how to put into words all that our family has gone through over the past couple of months. Yet I want to honor our family, and Kristi in particular, by writing something. So therein lies the stress that I've carried around with me for weeks: feeling I <i>should</i> write, yet not having the motivation to do so. And now that it's been so long since I've written, I've built up a self-imposed expectation that this better be a good one! (I know, I'm my own worst enemy at times!) <br />
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Okay, I'll just begin. After battling ovarian cancer for over four years, and after much prayer and many tears, Kristi and Brian decided that Kristi should stop chemo. In February Kristi's doctor told them that she probably has about six months left to live. In April she started to feel more tired and worn-out, and was struggling with getting her pain medication under control. In May right around Mother's Day she took a turn for the worse. A week or so later she and Brian were told that she was down to about two weeks left to live. Brian told us a couple of days after they found out when Kevin and I were over for a visit. Brian told us and when we had a few moments to absorb the shock, Kristi came downstairs. Oh the tears! SHE comforted US, saying "It's going to be okay," while hugging us and rubbing Kevin's back as he sobbed. We sat on the couch with her and Brian as the kids played together and it felt like we could sit there all day. We just couldn't get enough of her. We wanted to just soak her in. *Sigh* <br />
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The next week we went over again and not realizing it was going to happen, had our "good bye visit" with her. It felt so sudden. Kevin went first, and then he brought Carlos up there to see her after a while. When it was my turn, I didn't know what to say. It didn't feel like a good bye visit. It felt like I was just hanging out with her having a girl talk while she was feeling a little under the weather. We were in their room, sitting on their bed, playing with Maria at first, and then later after Kevin took Maria back downstairs, talking about the kids, both hers and mine, just chatting like we usually did. There were a couple of serious times when she cried and I teared up, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she was dying. Soon. It didn't seem real. I know now that I was in denial. <br />
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When we left after that, I was a wreck. I cried all the way home. Our roommate put the kids to bed for us so that Kevin and I could just have some time alone to process what was happening. We cried on and off at the restaurant that night. (Good thing the lighting was dim and we were sitting in a corner!) This was on a Sunday and the next day I fortunately did not have to go into work as usual. I had the week off as this was the week that Kristi, Lori, and I had booked tickets a couple months back to go on a sisters' trip together. Oh how excited we all were once our trip was booked! It was so beautiful to hear the joy and excitement in Kristi's emails as we wrote back and forth to one another about it. We could hardly wait to go! (Another sigh.) But it just wasn't meant to be. God had different plans for us. I felt so heavy hearted that day and all through the next. Kevin and I felt so alone in our sadness. We know we have friends, but it didn't feel like we could connect with any of them right then. We didn't feel close to anyone, and it was very lonely. We lamented the fact that we hadn't kept in closer touch with friends over the past year and a half, and that we were still new in our church family. Hardly anyone knew what was going on (most of our friends new that Kristi was battling ovarian cancer, but no one knew she had taken a turn for the worse and that we were at the end.) I'm so thankful to God that he put it on my heart to reach out to a few certain people! Those particular friends were an absolute GIFT from the Lord, and stood by us in such generous and beautiful ways. I don't know how we would have gotten through those most difficult weeks without them. I know that I've digressed a bit, but I just had to acknowledge my deepest thanks to those dear friends.<br />
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My memory of the timeline of events is a little fuzzy now, but I think that Kristi went into Hospice Home of Holland the end of that week. We thought she would be there for only a day or two, but her body held on for three weeks before she went home to be with Jesus on June 10th. While she was in the Hospice Home, Kevin went there nearly every day, as did Lori, and their parents. The kids and I went several times. It was hard to see Kristi deteriorating, but she was such a sweetheart! She always had a smile for any of us who came to see her, and Brian and Kevin and Lori and their parents can tell many, many stories of her kind and loving nature coming out strongly all the way to the end. She was shining beautifully! <br />
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Kevin had been at the Hospice Home on June 10th and the kids and I came in at dinner time. Aunt Diane (Kevin's dad's sister) was there as she had flown in earlier that day. Kristi's breathing had become raspier that day, but we left around 9:00 p.m. saying that we'd see everyone tomorrow, under the impression that Kristi still had a few days left. By the time we reached Grand Rapids, the kids were almost asleep. We just didn't have it in us to "put them to bed," so we decided that I should continue driving around (nine times out of ten Kevin does the driving, but for some reason I did that night) until they fell asleep so that we could just plop them into bed when we got home. We literally drove around Grand Rapids on the highway and just as we were on the opposite side of town from where our house is, minutes after the kids had both fallen asleep, Kevin's cell phone rang. It was his mom, saying the Kristi had passed away.<br />
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That was one of the longest drives home. I was shaking. Kevin had to call Lori and tell her. I could hear Lori's sobs over Kevin's cries as they wept together. We called our roommates and thankfully they were both home when we arrived so we could drop the kids into their beds and then turn around and head back into Holland to the Hospice Home. I'm shaking now as I type all of this, recalling the sensations I felt that same night. After throwing an overnight bag together and tying up a few loose ends, we were on our way. We talked to Lori about picking her up so that we could all drive together, but we all decided that we'd just pack up our things and start out the door as soon as we each could and then would check back in with each other before we arrived at Hospice. In the crazy and beautiful way that is God's, due to the wrong exit that Lori's friend took who was driving her and then the wrong turn she made, we ended up turning into the driveway/parking lot of the Home exactly behind Lori. We got out of our cars at the exact same time and were able to walk into the Home hand in hand. I can still picture our walk down the hallway like it was yesterday. Oh the sobbing as we embraced Mom and Dad. Oh the tears as we gathered together around Kristi's bed. More sobbing as Brian came back into the room and heartbroken reached for his bride. <br />
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It was an exhausting and tough night and next few days especially. Brian and Kristi with the help of many people put together a beautiful visitation and memorial service. Our days were filled with friends and family and tears. Our family has a very obvious hole in it. Our first hole was left by Eric's passing last year, and now another hole with Kristi's passing. I keep thinking about how "now there are four." Four of us siblings & spouses where there used to be six. Four of the original Kammeraad family of Mom, Dad, Kristi, Lori, and Kevin. And now only four Rogalskes, where Brian, Ashley, Nathan, and Emily are now without their wife and mom. There have been and continue to be so many people who are praying for us and all of the people I just mentioned above. Thank you so very much. We couldn't get through all of this without your prayers. Please continue, as the grieving continues for everyone. <br />
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Before I end this extremely long post, I wanted to say a few words about Kristi. She was a beautiful, kind, loving, generous person. Such an amazing wife and mom and daughter and sister and friend. She had a strong relationship with God, and she will be leaving a beautiful legacy of faith to all of those whose lives intersected with hers. <br />
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I'll miss laughing and talking with her at family gatherings. I'll miss talking with her about the books we're reading. I'll miss her smile and the way she interacted with her kids and nieces and nephews. I'll miss her quirky sense of humor in her emails as we'd write back and forth about our menus for the family camping trips and holiday meals. I'll miss her homemade stamped cards and the way she wrote her letter "a"s. We love her. We miss her. We can't wait to see her again in heaven! Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-38257737996681549842011-05-04T23:44:00.001-04:002011-07-22T23:27:23.093-04:00Winter and Spring Photos!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9faGSARrL2su2ys1BCWMbCQE1zxNmpq_0xesC9kLFsmULHVvFx-OA4OjTmwLxS5qI9jUH9V3uKlIa9gKw1kEoqkwiYAD67tPCkg4DP7Xisz4X4EiVbP7CP9KVigilKRn21Hn/s1600/2011+Jan-April+004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9faGSARrL2su2ys1BCWMbCQE1zxNmpq_0xesC9kLFsmULHVvFx-OA4OjTmwLxS5qI9jUH9V3uKlIa9gKw1kEoqkwiYAD67tPCkg4DP7Xisz4X4EiVbP7CP9KVigilKRn21Hn/s320/2011+Jan-April+004.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj21Tv-AI1JOHIIclE9_vxLgoF8vBJu3ID_2X01G58FkiHPVn18wfvJXRsPPBG_X5gmFlM2ohy09ymWPPiHwvRcTqD2t3iE60-DjYNXopTkKPvmK07KXuyzaoT7JB_iVlnOHRJU/s1600/2011+Jan-April+014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj21Tv-AI1JOHIIclE9_vxLgoF8vBJu3ID_2X01G58FkiHPVn18wfvJXRsPPBG_X5gmFlM2ohy09ymWPPiHwvRcTqD2t3iE60-DjYNXopTkKPvmK07KXuyzaoT7JB_iVlnOHRJU/s320/2011+Jan-April+014.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifGcol_RRaSAQpy25RNwKF_EBnoITPYNHgjLRU7FShv_mMzvSrHJE4EcXEa8qnLurVON43YLwNTomnDBmVAvH7IRAf-e437pjPltixHyxNnYVrtyH3MPf-3VsFjlLbAUBzPqtX/s1600/2011+Jan-April+032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifGcol_RRaSAQpy25RNwKF_EBnoITPYNHgjLRU7FShv_mMzvSrHJE4EcXEa8qnLurVON43YLwNTomnDBmVAvH7IRAf-e437pjPltixHyxNnYVrtyH3MPf-3VsFjlLbAUBzPqtX/s320/2011+Jan-April+032.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Our silly kids! (It was Maria who put the star stickers on her own forehead!)</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJGxmc0amcSqKmvM_29yNBEqT5-4QJHjuFaFTHbKU5cRrbndnCaMpTcs6E0PWnijMH8_NFbGf3NpdSivptJH6ReEZxBE2E42FEXx_eYTp6heDSrM6SojanIRLGU2fMFJTHJCwS/s1600/2011+Jan-April+046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJGxmc0amcSqKmvM_29yNBEqT5-4QJHjuFaFTHbKU5cRrbndnCaMpTcs6E0PWnijMH8_NFbGf3NpdSivptJH6ReEZxBE2E42FEXx_eYTp6heDSrM6SojanIRLGU2fMFJTHJCwS/s320/2011+Jan-April+046.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxfipLo7GZt6qvJCtfh55kYg5k8gLGYJr7KWxpfvLiyGTcC9_HNy5XjGMaBKk1zBkx9rNu5QOWh65hv-r0MVv9e7Kl9gy5ZB6jy46GKue6Q0WEeq-wGlpmNgZ0QPS7i25DjnXG/s1600/2011+Jan-April+055.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxfipLo7GZt6qvJCtfh55kYg5k8gLGYJr7KWxpfvLiyGTcC9_HNy5XjGMaBKk1zBkx9rNu5QOWh65hv-r0MVv9e7Kl9gy5ZB6jy46GKue6Q0WEeq-wGlpmNgZ0QPS7i25DjnXG/s320/2011+Jan-April+055.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Celebrating Maria's Family Day by eating huevos (eggs) for dinner - her favorite!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiBrUSB-VW3YwhcMDX2B51Qznfr0pFdvu3xkd51tFbKFeyLL9JN55wRwrAc91t5Kdd4BFGV7mVc34DGkt98XPkRIE7n6tqXUQKoI0xlgz7G8j82kfIQ1hKMNzfXTCxPaAAYSS7/s1600/2011+Jan-April+059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiBrUSB-VW3YwhcMDX2B51Qznfr0pFdvu3xkd51tFbKFeyLL9JN55wRwrAc91t5Kdd4BFGV7mVc34DGkt98XPkRIE7n6tqXUQKoI0xlgz7G8j82kfIQ1hKMNzfXTCxPaAAYSS7/s320/2011+Jan-April+059.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFwILGW2YPCbJtqS9YxeT8STsoWt8rnXZBUQlY2B0sTIbvdpXO2OnZnrElh3fmk1P1q_EVtXpjPfRnxHc-B5jwnhFp1srPbu-Pa5iEbWjLUz_prDCQnV6K1zo4D4ceU9AxP2n/s1600/2011+Jan-April+065.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFwILGW2YPCbJtqS9YxeT8STsoWt8rnXZBUQlY2B0sTIbvdpXO2OnZnrElh3fmk1P1q_EVtXpjPfRnxHc-B5jwnhFp1srPbu-Pa5iEbWjLUz_prDCQnV6K1zo4D4ceU9AxP2n/s320/2011+Jan-April+065.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Being that this was her first Family Day, this wooden elephant puzzle is the first gift she's received from Colombia. She put it together and took it apart and put it back together right away, dozens of times in a row!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzspXr7yWwy13xEuHIwBKTiHRkrKAZGaxmWdu-Ue8Da1JlexXvesXaGcOfZyIBze9QFI-NKohIge19G2muSe-iJ_eCZV-r9oCvzGmbExhZ_yMFb327Y0uULNiH29lvf5MJmy1/s1600/2011+Jan-April+068.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzspXr7yWwy13xEuHIwBKTiHRkrKAZGaxmWdu-Ue8Da1JlexXvesXaGcOfZyIBze9QFI-NKohIge19G2muSe-iJ_eCZV-r9oCvzGmbExhZ_yMFb327Y0uULNiH29lvf5MJmy1/s320/2011+Jan-April+068.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Celebrating Carlos' half birthday (6 1/2) with half a cake and half a "Happy birthday to you" song!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7NDwHRjJmbH1NVOA7P1QvF3HmMzVwUNQrtl8dssx5g6oKiF2ZYEh_FqkS0Ot_ex-zyokROPyiyAWOvyFbNkJaqGxBmM3k_SUlyMTq8F67zwcCh-CQZQ-5abo0W8GT1oUatzmn/s1600/2011+Jan-April+161.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7NDwHRjJmbH1NVOA7P1QvF3HmMzVwUNQrtl8dssx5g6oKiF2ZYEh_FqkS0Ot_ex-zyokROPyiyAWOvyFbNkJaqGxBmM3k_SUlyMTq8F67zwcCh-CQZQ-5abo0W8GT1oUatzmn/s320/2011+Jan-April+161.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Decorating Easter eggs (and painting in between)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZltiZ2fRHBi9XXeLL8fvc3SN9SEr2RVE3dO-nOTPxQS_Xm9EwayPPUZgNx9Mz2g3iyRibC4Bmy783ndreIOjOgtFY2ZB-FlbW4dt5nBXj-SoShWFfZyZNEY_R9z_PlRWxPkKB/s1600/2011+Jan-April+178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZltiZ2fRHBi9XXeLL8fvc3SN9SEr2RVE3dO-nOTPxQS_Xm9EwayPPUZgNx9Mz2g3iyRibC4Bmy783ndreIOjOgtFY2ZB-FlbW4dt5nBXj-SoShWFfZyZNEY_R9z_PlRWxPkKB/s320/2011+Jan-April+178.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-29094703514880676672011-03-27T20:42:00.000-04:002011-03-27T20:42:49.326-04:00MariaI've been meaning to write this post for over a month now! So here goes:<br />
<br />
One year and a month ago, on February 23, 2010, our long wait was over and we got to hold our Maria in our arms for the first time! For me it felt like the most natural and meant to be thing in the world. It felt surreal and wonderful and beautiful. She was PRECIOUS (and still is)! Our prayers were answered many times over with Maria becoming part of our family! <br />
<br />
She has changed quite a bit in a year! A few examples: When we first met her, she was shy (of course) and seemed so fragile; now she is LOUD and rambunctious! She is very curious, determined, fun-loving, and persistant. She was two years and four months old and wasn't saying any words yet; now, as she continues in speech therapy, her vocabulary is a couple hundred words and she is able to express her wants and needs: "I need up peas. I not reach it." "I sit down mama's lap." "Daddy fix it down stairs." "My brush my teeth more." "Arlo not do that!" For those first few months, she didn't understand or enjoy reading books for more than a minute; now she requests to read books as she carries a huge pile in her arms and stacks them next to us. (Yeah!) <br />
<br />
She enjoys doing puzzles, building with blocks, playing with cars, pushing anything with buttons, coloring, and doing anything Carlos is doing! She loves riding her bike! She is learning her colors and enjoys counting to ten. She likes listening to music, and she loves when we sing songs. Her favorites are Wheels on the Bus and Praise Ye the Lord. :) <br />
<br />
She is a gift from God and it is a blessing to be her mama! <br />
<br />
(I'll post current photos of the kids once I locate the camera and take the three months of photos off of it!)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-38120773406074677942011-03-21T01:07:00.000-04:002011-03-21T01:07:06.179-04:00A Bad Word That Starts With an "S"As we were putting the kids to bed tonight, Carlos was holding our cat and he and I were talking about animals. I was reminding him that we always need to be nice to animals. And then I retracted my statement a bit and said that we need to be nice to all animals, unless they are trying to attack us. Carlos said, "like from sharks." And I said yes, and from mean dogs. That got us talking about the dogs near his school. He said that he wants to call them a bad word that starts with an "s" and he started giggling. I was playfully trying to draw the word out of him, and he just kept laughing and laughing, a nervous yet excited and playful laugh. He giggled as he said he was embarrassed to say it. He said it was like dog poop. Kevin and I looked at each other. I told Carlos that he would not get in trouble for saying the word right now, that saying it right now wouldn't count as saying it. I just wanted to know what word he was thinking of. He then said something while he was laughing, but we couldn't understand what he said. So we asked him again to say the word, and he said that he just did. He was still smiling. We told him that we didn't hear it, and he said he already said it. This was all said in a spirit of playful banter. He said it starts with an "st." I asked if the word was "stupid" and he paused and laughed and said "uh-huh." We weren't convinced so we asked him if that really was it. He said that he already said it. He wouldn't say it again, so we said it was alright, but we did really want to know. We turned out the lights. And then suddenly it was like Carlos snapped. <br />
<br />
He was instantly extremely angry. Seething with anger. He was laying between Kevin and I and we could feel his anger. He was tense and making angry sounds and muttering under his breath. We tried to draw what was the matter out of him, but he wouldn't say. He tried to leave our bed and go onto his bed, alone. We wouldn't let him. We tried talking to him some more, encouraging him to open up to us, that we wanted to help him. Was it about the dogs? The movie we watched tonight? About anything in the fairy tales we read before bed? He wouldn't talk about it, just continued to angrily mutter. I thought to myself that Carlos seemed like a different child. Yes, he's been angry before, yes, he's had rages, but from how he was while getting ready for bed to how he's acting now, it felt like he was a different kid. <br />
<br />
I told Carlos to hit the pillow, to kick his feet, to get out his anger. He refused, so I demonstrated. He started laughing (which was strange to see him go from seething anger to laughing in five seconds.) I kept demonstrating and encouraging him to do it too. He wouldn't. So Kevin started to wrestle with him. They playfully wrestled on the bed for a few minutes, and then Kevin put him down between us again and said that he was going to pray and then we needed to go to sleep. Carlos was instantly angry again, doing the same things he was doing before the wrestling. We asked again if he wanted to talk about it. He growled something like, "I said no." We kept trying, he kept resisting, but at one point he said that there are all these images flashing about in his mind. I asked him what kind of images. He angrily said they are silly. I told him that I like silly. He responded that they were silly bad, not silly good. I told him I wanted to hear about them anyway. He angrily sighed and then said something like, "Like a duck with eight legs and four tails and nine heads with one head cut off." I don't remember what we said after that, but he was still so angry. He wouldn't tell us anything more, so Kevin said that we should just pray and go to sleep and we can talk about his feelings tomorrow or anytime. He didn't want to pray and go to sleep and he didn't want to talk about it later. I reached over and put my hand on his leg and started praying outloud for him, that Jesus would come near to him and fill him with His peace. That He would fill his heart and mind with His peace and love and strength. I prayed for protection and for the Holy Spirit to be strong within him. That He would heal Carlos' wounded heart (we've talked al ot about Carlos' heart, so he was familiar with this phrase), and that He would take away Carlos' anger and the images in his mind so that he could get restful sleep. After a few minutes of praying, Carlos slowly started to relax. Then Kevin took over the prayer and Carlos drifted off to sleep. <br />
<br />
Two minutes later Carlos jerked in his sleep. A minute later he flipped over. A minute later he jerked again. He tossed and turned (not at all gently) every minute or so. He stayed asleep, but he it was very fitful. After ten minutes or so of this, Kevin got up to go downstairs. I stayed with the kids a few more minutes. Carlos jerked about again and then woke up and calmly and quietly said:<br />
<br />
"Mom."<br />
<em>Yes?</em><br />
"I feel overwhelmed."<br />
<em>Why is that?</em><br />
"Because there was too much bad....and then too much good....and now too much bad." (Going on in his head.)<br />
I leaned over to him and softly yet firmly said that <em>Good will win. Good will always win. Love will win. Jesus will win. </em><br />
<em>Good wins. Love wins. Jesus wins.</em><br />
There was a pause and then,<br />
"Mom, Satan took off my sock."<br />
<em>WHAT? </em>(Flash back to the past half an hour and how I thought to myself at one point while trying to talk Carlos through his anger that this was Satan. That there was spiritual warfare going on. But I didn't want to freak Kevin out, or Carlos, so I didn't say anything. And now here was Carlos, awake suddenly after sleeping for fifteen minutes, saying something about Satan!)<br />
"Satan took off my sock."<br />
Immediately I put my hand on Carlos and said aloud, <em>"Satan, I command you by the power of Christ Jesus to flee from Carlos right now. You and your....things.... need to leave and go to the foot of the throne of Christ Jesus."</em><br />
"Mom, who are you talking to?"<br />
<em>To Satan. I told him that he had to leave. And he has to listen to me. Because of Jesus. He gave us the power over Satan. If we use His name, Satan has to listen to us when we tell him to leave. So he is not near us anymore. He left. You belong to Jesus. You will always belong to Him. You are God's child and He will always hold you in His hand. Satan wants to have us, but he can't. We belong to Jesus. </em><br />
<br />
And with that, Carlos fell asleep. And slept peacefully. I stayed with him another ten minutes and he didn't move once. It is now an hour later, and Carlos has still not tossed or turned. (I have the monitor on so I can hear them.) <br />
<br />
We had a spiritual battle tonight, friends. I know that this is a controversial topic. I know that this is uncomfortable to talk about. I know that this is scary stuff. But Satan is real, and he wants Carlos. And he CAN'T HAVE HIM!<br />
<br />
"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:11-13Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-86254673620024747332011-02-27T21:08:00.000-05:002011-02-27T21:08:35.716-05:00Breaking ThroughJust a quick update to say "Praise God!" We made it through this month! We are very thankful and are looking forward to this next month. With the bulk of the company's income coming in over the next two months and with our upcoming tax return, we are praying that we will be good stewards of the money that God gives us. We are praying for wisdom to make good choices on what, how, and when to spend money: a few repairs we've been holding off on, a car to replace the one that was totaled so that we can give Kevin's grandparents their car back, paying off some debts, etc. It feels really good to be in a place where we can make these choices, so now it's just making sure we are doing it wisely: God's way and not ours. :)<br />
<br />
Here are some lyrics to Toby Mac's song "Hold On" that have been in my head tonight: <br />
<br />
So baby hold on, to the one that's holding you,<br />
I see the clouds are moving faster now, and the sun is breaking through! <br />
<br />
[Note: I just looked up the lyrics and it looks like I combined in my head the first part of one verse with the second part of the next verse, but oh well! I like it this way so I'm gonna' keep it!]Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-63057714147288441672011-02-05T00:27:00.002-05:002011-02-05T11:13:42.502-05:00"Lean Not on Your Own Understanding..."This has been a tough year for us financially. With adopting Maria and school budgets being really tight, both Kevin and I have had to get part-time jobs outside of the business. We both have found places that fit us really well, and we are really enjoying all that we are learning and doing. I work at an independent children's store that is focused on natural parenting and toys, and Kevin works at a neurofeedback company. Kevin is still visiting schools, but he hasn't had many this fall and winter. We've maxed out our business line-of-credit and are now just trying to get through until the last week of February. From then on through summer Kevin has steady work lined up. (Yeah!) But last week his sister came in to do our accounting and we all wondered: how are we going to make it until then? Bills still have to be paid, etc., and we simply do not have any more money in the company. She told us not to pay anything this week or buy anything this week and she'd come back today. Kevin has not seemed worried this week about this, but I kept thinking: I know it's only three weeks, but seriously, how are we actually going to make it through? <br />
<br />
So then Lori came back today and she and Kevin worked in the office for a few hours. As I was cleaning up the house, at one point I thought about how our extended family has and is struggling so much with health-related issues and how we've felt badly at times over the years that we aren't. But I realized that although we aren't struggling health-wise, we have struggled over the years and are currently struggling financially. And I wondered how long we'd be doing this. But then I thought/prayed, God, if this is what it takes to keep us close to you, to keep us hanging on to you and not feel self-sufficient, even though it's hard, I'll welcome it and thank you for it.<br />
<br />
When Lori came up to say good bye some while later, she said that we're okay for another week! Money came from out of who-knows-where, but we are okay for now! Praise the Lord! A few sales of books, a check we didn't expect, a school who paid that owed us some money all added up to what we needed! This was a big deal, yet after thanking God silently, I went on with my busy day and have kept busy up until right now (midnight). I finally sat down and read my devotional for today and this is what it said: <br />
<br />
"Give thanks unto the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people." - I Chronicles 16:8<br />
<br />
So that's what I'm doing!<br />
<br />
God is our Provider and I am so thankful for who He is!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-65636917571347887322011-01-19T22:55:00.000-05:002011-01-19T22:55:06.015-05:00It's Hard SometimesParenting is not for the weak. Adopting is not for the weak. It is tough stuff. It can fill you with emotions and reactions that you never thought you'd have. <br />
<br />
We are struggling a lot with Carlos. He was adopted at ten and a half months old, so as an infant, but he struggles with issues that one would expect from a child who was adopted at a much older age. Issues of abandonment, rejection, loss, identity, trust. He struggles with very low self esteem, perfectionism, and deep anger. We see this played out in numerous ways, none of them good or healthy. <br />
<br />
He has never fully attached to me, his mom. I could see it in his eyes and through the way he responded to me during his first year or so home with us. I struggled with feelings of rejection, sadness, anger, and guilt. I was so afraid that he would never attach to me and that would then lead to him becoming a juvenile delinquint and it would be all my fault. It felt heavy and scary and sad. I wondered if somehow someone at the adoption agency had made a mistake. Maybe there was something wrong with me and I wasn't fit to parent. I didn't share my feelings with anyone besides Kevin and only a couple of close friends. I was too embarressed and ashamed and didn't think most people would understand. After all, we "chose" to become parents through adoption - I should be happy and joyful and grateful all the time, right? <br />
<br />
At about the year and a half point, there was a difference in the way Carlos looked at me and I called that "attachment." Our relationship and time together felt better, more natural, and I thought we had a breakthrough and that everything would be okay now. As time went on though, I knew in my gut that our relationship wasn't the same for either of us as it was for all the other parents and children that I knew. We were just not as close or nearly as close as my friends were with their children. No one could or would have pointed that out though. It's wasn't obvious; it was in the subleties. And I have always just pushed it away as no big deal, and that he is close to Kevin, his daddy, so that's good. Every child favors one of their parents either a lot or a little bit over the other. Carlos favors Kevin. The three of us knew it and had talked about it and had just accepted it. And life went on for nearly five years this way. And then came Maria.<br />
<br />
Things are different with her. Maybe it's her personality. Maybe it's because she's a girl. Maybe it's because I'm a different person in many ways than I was when I became a mom the first time. I don't know why, but our relationship is a lot different. It feels and looks a lot different. It feels good, right, healthy, "normal." I don't even question whether we're attached or not. It's not a question. It just is. We just are. <br />
<br />
So what does that mean for Carlos, and for Carlos and I? I don't know. He doesn't trust me. He never has. We've talked about this often. He knows it. I know it. Kevin knows it. If Carlos gets hurt and I'm the only one there to comfort him, he'll come to me if he's hurt badly enough. But even then, my presence, my soothing, my cuddling, doesn't actually make him feel better. It does for other kids when their parents do it to them. I can see it happening. It does for Maria when I soothe her. It doesn't for Carlos. He's stiff in my arms. And if he's not hurt badly but definitely still hurt, he doesn't want me. I'll go over to him and he'll push me away and just keep crying. He doesn't want my comfort. <br />
<br />
Just before we went to Colombia and for the first couple of months that we were home, Carlos had rages. Rages are bursts of anger that are deep and raw and long - unlike anything Kevin or I have ever seen before. The first time it happened I honestly thought that Carlos was possessed by a demon. It was so scary and I just prayed and prayed over him, begging God to heal him. Once we were home from Colombia we started to see an attachment and family therapist. We saw him from April through September. By August Carlos was doing so much better than the first few months and by September all of us felt like there was no need to continue therapy. Carlos had opened up a lot, learned a lot, and we as his parents felt so much more equipped to handle situations and issues that could and would come up again with him. <br />
<br />
But now here we are four months later and although Carlos does not rage any more, it is still really tough. He is dealing with such strong and deep emotions surrounding the issues that I mentioned earlier. We could go back to counseling. That would probably help. We could take him out of school since many of his feelings of abandonment, rejection, and self-hatred arise out of things that happen at school. That would help alleviate some of the pressure that he puts on himself. But no matter what we decide about either of these two things, what Carlos desperately needs is for God to heal his broken heart and his wounded spirit. We don't pray about that enough I'm realizing as I type this. We ask God to help us parent him, to give us strength and wisdom, but we don't actually pray for Carlos' healing. So if you think of it, will you please say a prayer for Carlos? We need to cover this precious little boy in prayer! And he and I need prayers of healing for our relationship too. We need to be attached. We just have to be in order for Carlos to be completely whole. <br />
<br />
So I write all of this because it's cathartic, as a plea for your prayer support, and because maybe there is another adoptive parent or family out there who is struggling too and needs to feel that they are not alone. Although we feel alone in this sometimes, we know we are not. And we are thankful for what we do have and for the people we have in our lives. God is good all the time. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-49098978872295398732011-01-11T00:42:00.000-05:002011-01-11T00:42:11.415-05:00Fall Photos 2010<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBwoXyoW6Vv0vEronHBQ-u7oTO7qdid1V0kt4IlbrykWI1HBdA0d5y8esqI7BsPQoGBf01qXqUkZpOq1da5vQFZjooPGdurilgkgCJX1qxGMo-valbsgXtpSsfKOw73qvHWDug/s1600/100_6093.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBwoXyoW6Vv0vEronHBQ-u7oTO7qdid1V0kt4IlbrykWI1HBdA0d5y8esqI7BsPQoGBf01qXqUkZpOq1da5vQFZjooPGdurilgkgCJX1qxGMo-valbsgXtpSsfKOw73qvHWDug/s320/100_6093.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jlCRjABdxSLcq-hDDCzAVjNjNfUev9IhqmpnBVC3INsvZmgUCzrApfbVo7VxZhSVylZc1MLSu2b4d0HEcgNYfyN25jvhtedjnHKQu0or5CwLoAqsZ-J7RBtr1AwJ7YyKgB38/s1600/100_6094.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jlCRjABdxSLcq-hDDCzAVjNjNfUev9IhqmpnBVC3INsvZmgUCzrApfbVo7VxZhSVylZc1MLSu2b4d0HEcgNYfyN25jvhtedjnHKQu0or5CwLoAqsZ-J7RBtr1AwJ7YyKgB38/s320/100_6094.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6h7VHoUdxH_Hjeocza5rKe3bvhy0Vb7IiZzc0f9z4-0D4QI7H4dp4J13z4_NuROMqPfMu4qR93VswAR5n5f0TkZMpj0-AVtdzFi37s_NZdTX9PAKog0Pkaejg1s2tGLPy4Pnn/s1600/100_6151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6h7VHoUdxH_Hjeocza5rKe3bvhy0Vb7IiZzc0f9z4-0D4QI7H4dp4J13z4_NuROMqPfMu4qR93VswAR5n5f0TkZMpj0-AVtdzFi37s_NZdTX9PAKog0Pkaejg1s2tGLPy4Pnn/s320/100_6151.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Kevin built this vintage style puppet theatre and created a new puppet named Olli Winston for ArtPrize.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">ArtPrize: <span class="cmsContent" id="caMiddleTop_repContentItems_lblContent_0">"Designed as a very different art competition, the goal is for the general public and artists to collide, exchange ideas and come away changed. </span>Part arts festival, part social experiment--this international contest is decided solely by public vote."</div><div style="text-align: center;">Kevin was part of a group of artists who created Plan B town, an eco-village that demonstrated what a community could look like in the future if we hit peak oil and begin to run out, if electricity was intermittent at best, and if resources were scarce. Instead of doom and gloom, they created a community that was full of great music, art, food, friends, and conversation. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="cmsContent" id="caMiddleTop_repContentItems_lblContent_0"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxAwKG0F-OzMvi9XaWrWyPi4bfh6Vpk3-Bbqth040UdRkl5h0TH8xgSv6FlwbyHrEpnnHo__y6l1mn-9sb8XhlXE5C_ZtZvTHKw3XIvuAulrh3T4Yc4bej9HZ-qoTmipo9Vec/s1600/100_6159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxAwKG0F-OzMvi9XaWrWyPi4bfh6Vpk3-Bbqth040UdRkl5h0TH8xgSv6FlwbyHrEpnnHo__y6l1mn-9sb8XhlXE5C_ZtZvTHKw3XIvuAulrh3T4Yc4bej9HZ-qoTmipo9Vec/s320/100_6159.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Two new friends: Kevin and Stacy performing at Plan B</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AliawZ4vq0IA1PzUkMHI68saTSZOIAGofZv9Sf_uIFEBFDRc80wflyyQOGRJErT7egI5YTgfMVZnYQ9HC2VZAJ09_yakx5dHHIwwMoYr2L6pu2aJo2F8I6Icj-j84bEH0nQB/s1600/100_6173.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AliawZ4vq0IA1PzUkMHI68saTSZOIAGofZv9Sf_uIFEBFDRc80wflyyQOGRJErT7egI5YTgfMVZnYQ9HC2VZAJ09_yakx5dHHIwwMoYr2L6pu2aJo2F8I6Icj-j84bEH0nQB/s320/100_6173.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Two old friends: Danny and Kevin performing together, too! Danny came all the way from New Jersey to perform at Plan B! (Well, and to visit a few schools, too.)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-p5-KvxB0PydWD7hckvHvPM79UIWmWsU19ZGtqTuw6XE5EYyX3B5zCHFZer7Pn1tmOWv-GUhi2zd2kO15Jxc442TPv2URLjP1MuJabdGXeDX5mM-eCVDGPNph6dYP6Uikh6gJ/s1600/0921101419.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-p5-KvxB0PydWD7hckvHvPM79UIWmWsU19ZGtqTuw6XE5EYyX3B5zCHFZer7Pn1tmOWv-GUhi2zd2kO15Jxc442TPv2URLjP1MuJabdGXeDX5mM-eCVDGPNph6dYP6Uikh6gJ/s320/0921101419.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOEhMcYO5cv_ANqHnG_QClmT5C7TsxHFXUDODNUp0yDTsJT-_Zmszhv3IxDuhEAktsdhqv4BV13tCJH56X7spHSZ6ROr5KdRvMOEpycaRbKUzLWF9j9pShS9IQQA70CScRz2LH/s1600/1001100825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOEhMcYO5cv_ANqHnG_QClmT5C7TsxHFXUDODNUp0yDTsJT-_Zmszhv3IxDuhEAktsdhqv4BV13tCJH56X7spHSZ6ROr5KdRvMOEpycaRbKUzLWF9j9pShS9IQQA70CScRz2LH/s320/1001100825.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> A photo of the town at sunrise. Plan B was set on the banks of the Grand River in downtown Grand Rapids.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7R3uA9cOA2ldhm9tyMxUOkNDFItr8olaNsRRCDGY5suoNSm4leW01jlyPOG9YnHGGIlI2C4I3RJxs_MY9FBv1Xw25BSc5S7VjZxjaHndO0AUSSn8R1vZVBBmOmvsT3htMX2vY/s1600/1009101251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7R3uA9cOA2ldhm9tyMxUOkNDFItr8olaNsRRCDGY5suoNSm4leW01jlyPOG9YnHGGIlI2C4I3RJxs_MY9FBv1Xw25BSc5S7VjZxjaHndO0AUSSn8R1vZVBBmOmvsT3htMX2vY/s320/1009101251.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0AMYfmxGn-30ZGJM0HMed9zWlMpZki6f5g3wtEy2m1gNtVh7-C3c_z9mGH98xThWmmRJC6ZO-fVrJt8W8XuLIWv49fEP9iQM3K0RyOSNZh8SLikGH0b5W0m2E5U_SA0jNZYxx/s1600/1009101921.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0AMYfmxGn-30ZGJM0HMed9zWlMpZki6f5g3wtEy2m1gNtVh7-C3c_z9mGH98xThWmmRJC6ZO-fVrJt8W8XuLIWv49fEP9iQM3K0RyOSNZh8SLikGH0b5W0m2E5U_SA0jNZYxx/s320/1009101921.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> This was my favorite piece at ArtPrize. Maria and I are soaking it in.</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisenmO5eoK4u46-uICC7gm4MzEilRENNixpjHOPiYkkCW5YzITyLNjxtUkhcKmstVFF_e15kVDNcNfBFajTMCqbppJCXPAFJlP_FFkBRP0g5qODwjYwOzN4J_3EroDxl4RF3MD/s1600/1125100901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisenmO5eoK4u46-uICC7gm4MzEilRENNixpjHOPiYkkCW5YzITyLNjxtUkhcKmstVFF_e15kVDNcNfBFajTMCqbppJCXPAFJlP_FFkBRP0g5qODwjYwOzN4J_3EroDxl4RF3MD/s320/1125100901.jpg" width="240" /> </a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Kevin ran in the 5K Turkey Trot this year on Thanksgiving morning. Carlos ran his first 1K and got chased by this turkey the entire time! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0LXPl_6BHlM4vUdH69nHRptzrVqxtFls_D046_n9iolWwxclaKODozIBo27Hfc4euqsr7ItdIoNayX9Ek6uypUImNgA-YNyAy86TLu-De1jmhV_HzllutM7Gl7KiO6BXStYI/s1600/1125100905a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0LXPl_6BHlM4vUdH69nHRptzrVqxtFls_D046_n9iolWwxclaKODozIBo27Hfc4euqsr7ItdIoNayX9Ek6uypUImNgA-YNyAy86TLu-De1jmhV_HzllutM7Gl7KiO6BXStYI/s320/1125100905a.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQPPFCXxbG16_O0ilb-t1bWB5SpJlU-SWBXIoSzfLUp52VfMFT4ac3TtnVYA14lem2PCTwipW8ctUcEyoh6vd11GPXICC0b4a2gkcrgvgPYKPtvNRB70Vl2y2MGOXLohevWWqf/s1600/1125100905.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQPPFCXxbG16_O0ilb-t1bWB5SpJlU-SWBXIoSzfLUp52VfMFT4ac3TtnVYA14lem2PCTwipW8ctUcEyoh6vd11GPXICC0b4a2gkcrgvgPYKPtvNRB70Vl2y2MGOXLohevWWqf/s320/1125100905.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-15451602174023128522010-12-23T01:51:00.000-05:002010-12-23T01:51:58.132-05:00Struck down, but not destroyed - Part 2The past couple of weeks have been....A LOT. <br />
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It started when I got into a car accident on the first really snowy morning in Grand Rapids. I had just dropped Kevin off at the airport for his five day trip to New Jersey and was on my way to work, with Maria in the back seat. My mother-in-law was meeting me there to pick Maria up to spend the day with her. I got off the highway on my exit and turned left onto the overpass. There is a light at the end of the overpass; it was red. I pushed on my breaks, but my car didn't stop. Instead, it slid three car lengths into the white pick-up truck that was in front of me, stopped at the light. I turned my wheel to the right so that less of my car would hit his, but since there is no shoulder on an overpass, I smashed into the truck. To make a long story short: the car was totaled. Maria and I were okay thankfully, as was the other driver. His bumper was dented, but that is all. I did have back and neck pain two days later that lasted for an entire week, but I am being treated by a chiropractor and am feeling better. Maria showed no symptoms of anything, so I think her car seat was effective! :)<br />
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The accident was on a Wednesday. Nine days later Kevin took my car, the Chevy Impala that we just use for me to drive around town in, to the mechanics as the muffler had been getting progressively louder over the weeks and was now at a deafening level. It turns out that it was more than a muffler fix. Now all I can give you is a very rough summary of what turned out to be wrong with it: something with the entire exhaust system. And the car had been leaking coolant for months, but we found out this day that it too needed more than just a patch job: something to do with the entire coolant system. And then the mechanic said that the break pads were 90% worn and that the steering could go out at any moment and so the car was unsafe to drive. All said, it would cost the same amount to fix the car as what we paid for it back in June! <br />
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So in summary, within a little over a week we went from two cars to zero. <br />
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Thankfully Kevin's grandparents are letting us borrow their car. I don't know what we would have done without their generosity!<br />
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I have been so stressed with getting organized for Christmas this year. It's the first Christmas that we've had two kids, that I've had a part-time job outside the home, that I'm potty-training (going on five months now), that our business has been so slow, and that I have family coming and staying for a week. (That last one is a great joy, it's just more planning!) There have been times when I just felt like the life I'm leading is too much for me to handle. (Not at all in a I'm-might-do-something-drastic kind of way, just in a I'm-going-to-work-myself-into-an-ulcer-or-heart-attack kind of way.) I know that the stress is due to my personality of being a perfectionistic, type A, people pleaser. Somewhere along the way over the past year and a half I've lost the ability to relax. I have a hard time falling asleep. Even though I'm exhausted each night, my mind races for quite a long time before I fall asleep. I feel like I've been running on adrenaline the past year and a half. I'm constantly doing something, because I feel like I always have something that I have to do. I do love my life, I just need to figure out a better way of living it. <br />
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Last week Carlos was complaining that a particular body part hurt. After two days I took him in to see the doctor. She took one look at it, showed me what was going on, and referred us to a specialist. She then asked me what was going on with his face. He had red, dry, bumpy patches under his nose and around and under his mouth. He had been sneezing and blowing his nose all night, so to me it just looked like he had done that too much. She looked into his throat and then swabbed his tonsil. It came back positive for Strep! And she said that what was on his face was impetigo, the strep virus on skin - highly contagious. My first thought was: Gosh, I'm so glad all four of us sleep next to each other in the same room! So our little guy was prescribed antibiotics for the strep, a cream for the impetigo, and we got in to see the specialist that same afternoon. The specialist informed us that Carlos needed surgery. The earliest they could schedule it was a week later. (Which is today, actually. The surgery went well and Carlos is recovering nicely. He will be up and around with not too many problems by tomorrow, so he and all of us will still be able to enjoy our Christmas festivities.) <br />
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So this has all taken place in just a few short weeks. But, like I said in my title of this post, we have been struck down quite a bit this month, but we are not destroyed. Amidst this chaos has been some beauty. There is a story of a dollhouse, one of an elf, and another of brotherly (and sisterly) love. <br />
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For Christmas I decided that I wanted us to give Maria a dollhouse. She plays with one at speech therapy and has so much fun. At the store I work at we sell a really nice wooden house, wooden furniture, and wooden doll family (and with brown skin too! Hard to find!) But even with my discount it's pricey. So I started looking on craigslist. I looked for a couple of different nights, but few were selling doll houses and no one was selling one that I was interested in. But then one night I saw a posting for a Fisher Price Loving Family doll house that included all of the furniture and dolls. It was $35.00. I looked it up on Amazon and found out what a great deal that was! I emailed the woman and said that I was interested and asked if she could email me a photo. She wrote back the next day and said that I was the second person to contact her. The first person was supposed to call her that day, but if she didn't, she would contact me. That night I received an email from her saying that the woman never called and that she'd send me a photo tomorrow. So the next day the photo arrived in the afternoon, and it was confirming. It was a really nice doll house in great shape, and it also included a car which I hadn't known about previously. Maria would love it! I wrote her back and said I would like it and that I could pick it up the next day. But then all evening I just didn't feel completely at peace. I felt unsettled. After the kids went to bed I looked at the photo again. Although it was a great doll house, it wasn't wood like I had wanted. What Kevin and I want for our kids and family just didn't fit with this toy. We don't like big plastic toys around our house. We have some, but we really prefer wooden and natural and green toys if we can help it. So I just felt this pull between two worlds. This doll house didn't fit well with our family but was priced affordably. A wooden doll house would fit our family, but was unaffordable. Do we just buy a family and maybe a few pieces of wooden furniture for Maria for Christmas and then save up to get her a doll house and more furniture later? Or do we just say: you know what, we can't afford what we want. That is the reality for most people. So just suck it up, and be grateful for what we can afford. The latter is what we decided and I felt okay with this. Before going to bed I checked my email one last time and there was an email from the seller. She said that she feels really badly but her daughter came home from school, saw the doll house all set up, and now doesn't want to sell it. She hasn't played with it in two years, but loved the way her mom (the seller) had arranged everything. She has two other doll houses so her mom asked her which one she would be okay with selling. Her daughter said that she'd be willing to sell her wooden doll house and so this email to me was asking how I felt about having a wooden one instead! She'd sell it to me for the same price. Incredible! I would never have thought to ask God for a wooden doll house for Maria, but He knew and fulfilled that desire of mine. Isn't that beautiful?!? (This email came the night before Kevin took my car in and discovered all of the problems with it.)<br />
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Yesterday there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a man I didn't recognize standing there. He asked if I was Stephanie and when I said yes, he handed me what looked to be a tin of cookies and he said, "I'm supposed to tell you that this is from an elf. That's all I can say." And then he turned around and left. I looked across the street, thinking it was our neighbor's quirky way this year of delivering their annual Christmas cookies. I opened it up to find a note that said, "God loves you and so do we!" Under the note were not cookies at all, but coins! Lots and lots of coins! There was tissue paper underneath and I noticed a corner of something sticking out. I lifted the tissue paper to find dollar bills! And then under that tissue paper was more dollar bills! And then under that layer and the next and the next and the next were more and more bills! What?!? Who would do this for us? We still have no idea, but to the elves out there: THANK YOU SO MUCH! What a beautiful gift to us! We are humbled and grateful. <br />
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And then lastly, ever since the accident I have been wanting to get new car seats for the kids. The timing also coincided with me learning more about car seats and car seat safety at work, as we sell a top of the line brand there. The more I have found out, the more I realize how unsafe the car seats and booster seats we've been using for the kids are. They are expired (didn't know they could expire!) and don't attach to the car in a very safe manner. Most of the car seats on the market, although approved, are not the safest that they can be. There are many features lacking that have been proven to be much more life-saving. (I'm not going to go into detail here about all that I've learned about car seat safety, but feel free to ask me about it anytime.) Knowing this, it's hard for me to be okay with just buying any ol' new seat. But the ones that are the safest are of course the most expensive. So again, my battle in my head goes on about what to do. I was talking to my sister and brother-in-law about this yesterday and do you know what they did today? They bought us new car seats for the kids, the ones that I really wanted that we sell at the store I work at! Another beautiful gift from two beautiful people. <br />
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God provides. He rescues. He loves. We are humbly reminded of that as we celebrate Jesus' birthday this week. Merry Christmas! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTL90-EFwt3df9yeCadL6rpjhJ63COSHbNdDTC50xxTUJuFC5Vk1Z0dldaIQ_2M6SCiVjOlqlZl18gnPpk3O9SykfMEKOkxRnr23vtfIgDXz3vPla34Zg9Mgrjc3XudJCEs_kG/s1600/Picture+025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTL90-EFwt3df9yeCadL6rpjhJ63COSHbNdDTC50xxTUJuFC5Vk1Z0dldaIQ_2M6SCiVjOlqlZl18gnPpk3O9SykfMEKOkxRnr23vtfIgDXz3vPla34Zg9Mgrjc3XudJCEs_kG/s320/Picture+025.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-86230268774521171222010-12-10T15:40:00.000-05:002010-12-10T15:40:05.232-05:00Struck down, but not destroyed"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-48044495185480882132010-11-28T21:46:00.000-05:002010-11-28T21:46:19.734-05:00ThankfulOn this the last night of our Thanksgiving weekend, I thought that I would take some time to reflect on what I am thankful for:<br />
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For my children who are funny and frustrating, beautiful and bewildering, and exhausting yet exhilerating. We've had many difficult times over the past eight months, but I know that we are becoming a cohesive family. It is slow and painful work, but when those sweet moments between Carlos and Maria happen every once in a while and they are belly-laughing together, it is all worth it. I love them both very much and am so thankful to God for bringing them into our lives and creating this family of ours.<br />
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For my wonderful, kind-hearted, loving husband. We're a good team. Thank you God for opening our hearts to each other over ten years ago, and may You continue to work in and through us and our marriage!<br />
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For a God who loves me more than I will ever know, despite my failures and many, many short-comings. I have felt very distant from Him ever since being in Colombia. This distance isn't from Him though; I know that He is always near me. It's me who has been distant from Him. I haven't made time over these past months to just be still and pray and then listen to Him like I used to. I do pray, actually quite often throughout the day, but my prayers are either quick and selfish or are incoherent ramblings as I'm trying to go to sleep at night but my mind keeps racing on about everything under the sun. I know that He hears me and that He knows my heart and what I'm actually wanting to say or needing to say, but oh do I miss those times when I could feel Him near me and when I would be quiet long enough to hear Him. I am so thankful that He will not give up on me though. He is waiting with open arms for me to come close again.<br />
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For the way that God has provided for our financial needs over these past few difficult months. One of those ways is through me getting a job at a local, independent children's store. It's such a great fit for me and our family and I'm so thankful to be working there! <br />
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For parents who are so supportive of us and so generous to us in so many ways. We are very blessed to have two sets of wonderful parents!<br />
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For the friends that we've made at our new church home. One family in particular lives so close to us that we can walk to their house. We all enjoy spending time together; It feels like we've known them for years. And <em>that</em> is a beautiful thing.<br />
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For old friends who even though we don't see them very often or even talk to them very often, whenever we do connect it feels like no time has passed. Those friendships are so special and we are so thankful for them!<br />
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For our siblings who are beautiful, loving, awesome people! We are so lucky to have them in our lives! And for our neices and nephews who are just precious!<br />
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We have a lot to be thankful for!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-86391857542541260442010-10-15T01:18:00.000-04:002010-10-15T01:18:14.399-04:00ReparandoKevin and I and his parents went tonight to see the premiere of the documentary film "Reparando," which in English means "repairing." God is in the business of repairing brokenness, and there is a lot of brokenness in the people of Guatemala. They are still living in the aftermath of a 36 year civil war that ended in 1996. It tore the country apart, ravaged families, and displaced thousands upon thousands of people who tried to escape the violence. Now 75% of Guatemalans live below the poverty line, which according to the film means not having enough food and resources for the day. Some of the largest slums in Latin America can be found in Guatemala. One of them is named La Limonada, in Guatemala City. It is one mile long and half a mile wide, and sits on the outskirts of the city dump (24+ football fields in size.) Gangs and drugs and violence permeate it. Most of the 60,000 people who live there are what are called scavengers; they work 10-14 hours a day scavenging through the trash, collecting anything that may be of value in order to sell it. This is how they and their families survive day in and day out. <br />
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But amongst all of this, there is a hope that is rising. This film shares with us the stories of two individuals, Tita and Shorty, who have been restored by God from pasts of abuse and drugs and gangs. They are now working with the people of La Limonada, "to repair the next generation." Not wanting to give too much away, I'll just say that this is a powerful, moving, haunting, and beautiful film that shows the power of God's redemption in a person's life. <br />
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<a href="http://www.reparandomovie.com/">http://www.reparandomovie.com/</a><br />
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We've been so focused on Colombia this year, it felt really good tonight to come home feeling more connected to Guatemala, to have a renewed passion for this beautiful country where our son was born.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19777974.post-46386190067415003652010-10-11T23:13:00.000-04:002010-10-11T23:13:23.710-04:00Maria's Third Birthday! October 8, 2010Our little Ia turned three years old last Friday! Ia is the name she calls herself, said like the last part of Maria, and we all think it's so cute that it's stuck as our nickname for her. :) (So as of right now our kids call each other Arlo and Ia!)<br />
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Maria's birthday was a good day. I had been practicing with her all week on how to answer the question, "How old are you?" and to hold up three fingers. She gets so proud of herself when she does this. She gets this determined little look on her face as she carefully touches her thumb to her pinky and then with concentrated effort puts up her three other fingers. I love it!<br />
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On birthday mornings I like to make that person's favorite breakfast. For Kevin that's scrambled eggs with some sauteed veggies and cheese mixed in, toast with butter, and a sausage (now soy). For Carlos it's pancakes with maple syrup and strawberry jam. For Maria, it's huevos (eggs.) She loves to eat scrambled eggs and can eat three easily! So that meal was easy: huevos, check. For lunch and dinner? Not so easy. I should have planned ahead better and made a soup for lunch and Colombian lentils for dinner maybe. But with ArtPrize going on (more about that in a later post) and our friend from NJ in town, it just didn't happen. She did not love her next two meals that day, but thankfully she's young enough that she doesn't really understand birthdays yet anyway! I did make birthday cupcakes though, and they were enjoyed by all!<br />
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As I was thinking about her special day and how to celebrate it, I realized that we do not know many of her favorite things. She's in between languages right now. She now understands English more than she does Spanish and speaks more English than Spanish, but she doesn't understand enough English or remember enough Spanish to comprehend everything we're saying or to communicate her thoughts. She shows no signs of frustration about this though, so that's good, but I was a bit saddened when I thought about how I don't know her like I know Carlos. If I wanted to buy some balloons, what color should I get? She's shown no interest in a particular color over another, so I don't know what her favorite is. What dessert should I make for her? I don't know her favorite. Etc. I know that knowledge of these things will come with time. So instead of focusing on what I don't know, I'm going to focus on (and share with you) what I do know!<br />
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Maria really enjoys riding her bike as well as riding in the carrier on the back of Kevin's bike. We think she would do this for hours if we let her! She loves to do puzzles, play with cars, and "play" with board games. She's interested in anything that Carlos has that he doesn't want her to touch. She loves pushing buttons on anything she can reach (whether or not she's allowed to!): phones, remotes, CD players, the washer and dryer, toys, etc. She wants to be held around the house when we want her to walk around freely, and she wants to walk around freely when we're out in public and we want her to be held! She is shy around those she first meets, and is very quiet. At home she talks all the time and is very loud! (A good sign that she's comfortable at home with us, right?!) And something we discovered while at Plan B during ArtPrize: she loves to play musical instruments!<br />
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Although we've been having a hard time with her lately (Maria can be naughty!! Another sign that she's now comfortable with us?), we love her to pieces! Her smile and laugh can brighten up a room. She is a gift from God, precious in His sight (and in ours!) <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRbmHKgocsYEfExZUsZ5PNHT71hGLBZ8niLNQaJUicn52EMTX4tKRd1rQBqOSvHOIJWUp_uCC2Rtn8dgzWKNepTj8S-tuuKJgiXNNRQ5tHtKiHlcDbO4lx2Rf54j8uH7dW5k55/s1600/100_6181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRbmHKgocsYEfExZUsZ5PNHT71hGLBZ8niLNQaJUicn52EMTX4tKRd1rQBqOSvHOIJWUp_uCC2Rtn8dgzWKNepTj8S-tuuKJgiXNNRQ5tHtKiHlcDbO4lx2Rf54j8uH7dW5k55/s320/100_6181.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06732964665807533423noreply@blogger.com0