As we were putting the kids to bed tonight, Carlos was holding our cat and he and I were talking about animals. I was reminding him that we always need to be nice to animals. And then I retracted my statement a bit and said that we need to be nice to all animals, unless they are trying to attack us. Carlos said, "like from sharks." And I said yes, and from mean dogs. That got us talking about the dogs near his school. He said that he wants to call them a bad word that starts with an "s" and he started giggling. I was playfully trying to draw the word out of him, and he just kept laughing and laughing, a nervous yet excited and playful laugh. He giggled as he said he was embarrassed to say it. He said it was like dog poop. Kevin and I looked at each other. I told Carlos that he would not get in trouble for saying the word right now, that saying it right now wouldn't count as saying it. I just wanted to know what word he was thinking of. He then said something while he was laughing, but we couldn't understand what he said. So we asked him again to say the word, and he said that he just did. He was still smiling. We told him that we didn't hear it, and he said he already said it. This was all said in a spirit of playful banter. He said it starts with an "st." I asked if the word was "stupid" and he paused and laughed and said "uh-huh." We weren't convinced so we asked him if that really was it. He said that he already said it. He wouldn't say it again, so we said it was alright, but we did really want to know. We turned out the lights. And then suddenly it was like Carlos snapped.
He was instantly extremely angry. Seething with anger. He was laying between Kevin and I and we could feel his anger. He was tense and making angry sounds and muttering under his breath. We tried to draw what was the matter out of him, but he wouldn't say. He tried to leave our bed and go onto his bed, alone. We wouldn't let him. We tried talking to him some more, encouraging him to open up to us, that we wanted to help him. Was it about the dogs? The movie we watched tonight? About anything in the fairy tales we read before bed? He wouldn't talk about it, just continued to angrily mutter. I thought to myself that Carlos seemed like a different child. Yes, he's been angry before, yes, he's had rages, but from how he was while getting ready for bed to how he's acting now, it felt like he was a different kid.
I told Carlos to hit the pillow, to kick his feet, to get out his anger. He refused, so I demonstrated. He started laughing (which was strange to see him go from seething anger to laughing in five seconds.) I kept demonstrating and encouraging him to do it too. He wouldn't. So Kevin started to wrestle with him. They playfully wrestled on the bed for a few minutes, and then Kevin put him down between us again and said that he was going to pray and then we needed to go to sleep. Carlos was instantly angry again, doing the same things he was doing before the wrestling. We asked again if he wanted to talk about it. He growled something like, "I said no." We kept trying, he kept resisting, but at one point he said that there are all these images flashing about in his mind. I asked him what kind of images. He angrily said they are silly. I told him that I like silly. He responded that they were silly bad, not silly good. I told him I wanted to hear about them anyway. He angrily sighed and then said something like, "Like a duck with eight legs and four tails and nine heads with one head cut off." I don't remember what we said after that, but he was still so angry. He wouldn't tell us anything more, so Kevin said that we should just pray and go to sleep and we can talk about his feelings tomorrow or anytime. He didn't want to pray and go to sleep and he didn't want to talk about it later. I reached over and put my hand on his leg and started praying outloud for him, that Jesus would come near to him and fill him with His peace. That He would fill his heart and mind with His peace and love and strength. I prayed for protection and for the Holy Spirit to be strong within him. That He would heal Carlos' wounded heart (we've talked al ot about Carlos' heart, so he was familiar with this phrase), and that He would take away Carlos' anger and the images in his mind so that he could get restful sleep. After a few minutes of praying, Carlos slowly started to relax. Then Kevin took over the prayer and Carlos drifted off to sleep.
Two minutes later Carlos jerked in his sleep. A minute later he flipped over. A minute later he jerked again. He tossed and turned (not at all gently) every minute or so. He stayed asleep, but he it was very fitful. After ten minutes or so of this, Kevin got up to go downstairs. I stayed with the kids a few more minutes. Carlos jerked about again and then woke up and calmly and quietly said:
"Mom."
Yes?
"I feel overwhelmed."
Why is that?
"Because there was too much bad....and then too much good....and now too much bad." (Going on in his head.)
I leaned over to him and softly yet firmly said that
Good will win. Good will always win. Love will win. Jesus will win.
Good wins. Love wins. Jesus wins.
There was a pause and then,
"Mom, Satan took off my sock."
WHAT? (Flash back to the past half an hour and how I thought to myself at one point while trying to talk Carlos through his anger that this was Satan. That there was spiritual warfare going on. But I didn't want to freak Kevin out, or Carlos, so I didn't say anything. And now here was Carlos, awake suddenly after sleeping for fifteen minutes, saying something about Satan!)
"Satan took off my sock."
Immediately I put my hand on Carlos and said aloud,
"Satan, I command you by the power of Christ Jesus to flee from Carlos right now. You and your....things.... need to leave and go to the foot of the throne of Christ Jesus."
"Mom, who are you talking to?"
To Satan. I told him that he had to leave. And he has to listen to me. Because of Jesus. He gave us the power over Satan. If we use His name, Satan has to listen to us when we tell him to leave. So he is not near us anymore. He left. You belong to Jesus. You will always belong to Him. You are God's child and He will always hold you in His hand. Satan wants to have us, but he can't. We belong to Jesus.
And with that, Carlos fell asleep. And slept peacefully. I stayed with him another ten minutes and he didn't move once. It is now an hour later, and Carlos has still not tossed or turned. (I have the monitor on so I can hear them.)
We had a spiritual battle tonight, friends. I know that this is a controversial topic. I know that this is uncomfortable to talk about. I know that this is scary stuff. But Satan is real, and he wants Carlos. And he CAN'T HAVE HIM!
"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:11-13
