Disappointing news

We received a call from our adoption agency tonight.  The Latin American Program Specialist called and she was letting us know that they did recieve the referral in the mail that LP sent.  She said that the translation of our documents will take a little longer than usual since it's over the holidays, but that their translator is wonderful and already began working on our referral today.  Once it's all translated, she will send us the original and translated referral.  Once we recieve it we'll send a copy into immigration along with our I800 form (this is the form for U.S. immigration).  Which is another reason why she was calling: to let us know that she's emailing us tonight the I800 and other forms we will need to fill out.  Since it's a long weekend and she knows that we're anxious to get things rolling, she thought she'd send them to us ahead of time so that I could get started, instead of waiting to send them along with the referral like she usually does for families.  I was grateful for this! :) 

And then she reminded me that I'll need to look at the date on our fingerprinting results, as they are only good for six months.  If they expired while we were in Colombia, we cannot leave with Maria.  So, that led us into talking about what our timeline looks like.  She said that she's guessing we'd receive our I800 approval in mid January or so, so then we'd travel about six weeks later.  That would be March!  When we had the VanderMaas's over for dinner before they left for Colombia, we were telling them when we thought we'd be traveling by.  Kristi said to me then that she didn't want to burst my bubble, but she thought it wouldn't be until March that we travel.  I didn't believe her.  I didn't even want to consider that possibility.  God has kept our calendar completely clear for January and February - it must be because that's when He has us scheduled to travel, right?

We're so disappointed!  I know that there are no guarantees with the timeline in adoptions, and delays and waiting are part of the process, but it's still hard. 

Please pray that we'll have God's peace as we wait for His perfect timing. 

A beautiful little Christmas gift!

Last Tuesday we received the email we've been hoping for!!  Our case worker emailed that afternoon saying that she just heard from our rep in Colombia that LP issued us our referral of Maria!  She said that they already put it in the mail, so our agency should have it by the weekend!  Praise the Lord!!  And then there was a second email from our case worker: photos of Maria, taken by our rep THAT DAY, as a Christmas present for us!!  Words cannot describe such a wonderful gift!  God is just so nice to us, so thoughtful, so caring.  He cares about our hearts and our desires.  He is the giver of all good gifts!!

So....for those who haven't seen our original photos of Maria of when she was a baby and of when she was about 18 months old, here she is:

And here she is on December 22, 2009:

Look how big she's gotten!  And how much happier and stronger she looks!  That's our little girl, can you believe it?  What a gift!

Our time line hasn't changed much with us getting to this next step.  We'll probably be able to leave the beginning of February.  Now I dive head first into another mound of paperwork, and try to prepare ourselves to meet our daughter and live in another country for one to two months!  So exciting!

Another amazing gift that God has given us is a connection to a group of families, many here in West Michigan, who've adopted from Colombia.  The Vander Maas's (the ones in Colombia right now adopting their daughters) are the ones that connected us to this group.  We met six of the couples back in the beginning of November I think it was, and almost all of them are in the process of adopting their second from Colombia.  Two of them just received referrals, within the week before we did!  We'll all be in Colombia at mostly the same time!  One is adopting from LP like we are, and one is adopting from a different, but near by, adoption house.  Amazing!

That's all for now.  We hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and we wish you a beautiful New Year!

May Your will be done, not mine...

We bought a blanket to send down to Maria, along with a little stuffed animal that Carlos picked out (a cute little monkey).  Bonding experts advise sleeping with the blanket for a few nights so that our scent is on it.  So, we've been sleeping with it this week and I must say, it's the softest blanket either of us have ever slept with!  But the best thing about sleeping with this blanket has been that simply by holding on to it as we are laying in bed each night, we feel connected to Maria.  It's strange, but wonderful, and we look forward to holding onto this blanket each night.  Part of me doesn't want to give it away now.  But of course we must, and this connection that we feel must be tied to the fact that we know someday in the coming weeks she'll be holding onto it too as she falls asleep.  That thought is very powerful to us. 

We don't know her yet, but we miss her, if that makes sense.  We long to cuddle her in our arms, kiss her sweet cheeks, read books to her as she sits in our lap, sing songs to her, take family walks, hear her laugh, whisper "buenas noches mi amore" to her as she falls asleep. 

At the beginning of each day I wonder if today will be the day we receive her official referral and can move on to the next phase of paperwork and preparations that will bring us closer to traveling to Colombia.  And at the close of each night I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and that each day that passes does bring us closer to her, even though we haven't heard anything. 

I asked our case worker today why the delay, why not the immediate granting of the referral since we've already been matched with Maria for months and they've just been waiting for all of our documents to arrive?  She explained, "In regards to the referral question, they have had the actual dossier for not a long period of time and they don't always have a committee meeting (for official assignment of a child) every week. I am sure you are at the top of the list for the committee meeting. If they have one before the holiday then you would be able to get the referral before Christmas. If not then you would be in the first committee of the new year. Once the rep has the official referral, she will scan it and email it to me. We will call you immediately so you know we have it and then it will be sent to translation. Hope this helps although I know that this waiting part is very hard."  She's right about that!

I was feeling very anxious about the timeline again after I read that, and immediately started begging God that LP would have a committee meeting before Christmas.  My thoughts were racing, fears were rising up, and my brain was just jumping from here to there as I pleaded with Him.  All my begging just left me feeling more desperate and anxious though. 

So I took a deep breath and sat for a moment with my eyes closed, realizing as I did that that was not the prayer I should have been praying.  And then I found myself praying that God would have us travel to Colombia whenever it was best for Maria that we be there.  If her heart and mind aren't ready for us until February, or later, then that's when I want us to be there, and not any sooner.  Although we long to be with her as soon as possible, only God knows when the best timing for her will be.  He knows when she'll be ready.  I have to trust Him.  I do trust Him. 

I felt so much calmer when I was finished with that prayer.  God hears all of our prayers, and wants us to cry out to Him in our desperation and amidst all of our feelings, but the ones aligned with His will (His heart, His purpose) feel different than the ones that aren't. 

As I'm typing right now I'm reminded of something my friend Mary wrote recently on her blog.  She was reflecting on Christmas, as a mother, and wrote:  "Mary accepted God's will in her life; and with an open heart, she welcomed Jesus into her womb. "Thy will, not my own, be done." She knew she would face potential ridicule, and yes, even death, as she was not married at the time of her conception...but she trusted in the Lord. And He took care of her. He had given to her a righteous man, Joseph, who loved her and allowed God into his heart as well. Mary was truly a blessed woman, and yet she suffered a great deal in her lifetime. She is the ultimate example of a mother and of allowing God's will to be done, instead of constantly attempting to force our own desires."

Yes, that is an example worth looking up to!  So I will try my best....May your will be done Lord, not mine...

An Update

I've been meaning to post an update to all of the questions that I had for our case worker last week, but I was waiting to see if we'd have more info this week to share.  Sorry for the delay!  We don't have any new info on Maria, but the day after I asked our case worker my myriad of questions, this is what she said: 

"I will ask LP for an update on Maria and a new picture. You might
get new information and pic when you get the official referral but
we can ask now too.  The dossier usually takes 2-3 weeks so when I
ask for the pictures I will check the status of the translation.
When we do get the official referral, it will have the documents we
need for you to file the I-800 with CIS. I hope that we get this
before Christmas but not sure about that. Once you file the I-800
with CIS, then it takes 2 weeks for approval, 2 weeks for approval
to arrive in Colombia, another week to get the Article 5 ready and
then they have you travel. I think travel by February is very
possible.  Hope this answered your questions. I will let you know
what I hear!"

So that was very encouraging, and set my heart and mind a bit at ease!  (For those who don't know what CIS stands for, it's short for USCIS, United States Citizenship & Immigration Services.)

On Wednesday of this week I still hadn't heard anything, so I emailed our case worker again.  She said that she asked for an update on Tuesday and is waiting to hear back.

Meanwhile, our friends the Vander Maas's received their new daughters on Thursday of last week!  It's been such an incredible, beautiful, intense time for their family.  God is doing amazing things in them all, and it's a beautiful gift to watch their family transition from a family of four to a family of six, and to see their journey unfold through their blog.  Having them there and reading their posts is like having a lifeline to Maria.  It's very comforting, and emotional too!  On Wednesday of this week they went back to Los Pisingos (LP) for their tour as well as for an appointment that will officially start the adoption proceedings in the court system.  Their appointment got rescheduled for Monday at LP, but they still went on their tour.  We were wondering all day if they would happen to see Maria while they were there.  At the end of their blog about their day, they wrote this:

"Kammeraads - Hang in there with your paperwork. Once your dossier get's translated I think we can request to take a picture of Maria. We will definitely keep our eyes open for her on our tour. I showed Caroline her picture, and she got very excited and said "Mi Amiga! Mi Amiga!" Hang in there!!"

Tears welled up in my eyes when I read that!  Their Caroline is one of the precious little girls that they are adopting right now.  She'll be four this month.  Kristi and I were hoping and thinking that our girls knew each other, and this confirms it!   That's so exciting, and so amazing of God to do that for the girls.  They live in Zeeland, MI, just half an hour from us so once we are all back in the States, we'll be able to get the girls together.  How great is that?!

So even though they didn't see Maria that day, they might be able to see her on Monday!

Well just a little while ago we received good news from our case worker:

"Your dossier was delivered today to LP. Our rep will get a picture for you as they don't want other families taking pictures. As soon as I have it I will send it to you! The next steps is receiving the official referral from LP."

Such great news about our dossier!  That's what I've been praying for all week.  God is so good to us!   So now we just wait for them to review it and send us the official referral.  Our prayer is that they would do this next week so that we can send in our I800 to immigration (CIS) the week after that so that they have it before Christmas.  We would love your prayers for this!  We know that God has it all worked out already, but we are still praying the desires of our hearts.  We want to be with our little girl as soon as possible!

November 2009

Our fundraiser was a delightful success!  Thank you to all who were able to come out, and to those who've supported us in other ways.  We feel very loved and are very blessed!

Here are some photos of our family from that night:

These are Kevin's sisters and their families

Kevin's sister Lori and her husband Eric bid on the amazing artwork of Aaron Zenz that depicted our family, including Maria, along with Kevin's junk sculptures from "The Tomato Collection" that Aaron brought to life.  They then surprised us and presented the piece to us as a gift, saying that it's rightful place is in our home!  Such an amazing and beautiful gift!!

 

Here is Ethan (one of Kevin's junk sculptures) next to the piece that Aaron made.  It's hard to see the details in this photo, but Aaron drew Carlos swinging from one of Ethan's arms and Maria sitting on the other.

We love it and are so happy that we get to look at it every day!

Carlos and some of his cousins

Steph's parents, who came up from Metro Detroit to spend the weekend for Thanksgiving and to be able to attend the fundraiser.

Kevin's cousin Justin, Aunt Judy, and Mom

Sorry Brian, this was too funny not to post!  Brian and Kristi (Kevin's sister and brother-in-law) won the bid for this movie night basket.  This is Brian sitting off in the corner secretly eating all of the candy that was in the basket, before telling Kristi that they won it!

Kevin performed some songs that night with Jacob:

 

Again Brian, too funny not to share!  (He's mimicking Uncle Kev-Kev and secretly got caught in the action.)

Emily loves to hear Uncle Kev's shows!

Here is the wonderful staff of Urban Mill who was kept hoppin' all evening!:

We still have a few auction items left, mainly art, so we thought we'd post the photos here before trying other avenues for selling them.  If you are interested in purchasing one of them, you can just send us an email.  Or if you know someone who loves art who might be interested, please feel free to pass along our blog address to them.  Thanks!

The retail value is $600, but we are selling it for $400 (the book is included).

This is a print from the book Don't Forget to Take Your Umbrella, illustrated by Holland, MI artist and children's book illustrator, Carolyn Stich.  The approx. value is $200, but we are selling it for $125 (the book is included).

This is an original painting by Michigan artist and children's book illustrator, Lori Eslick.  The value is $350, but we're selling it for $250. 

 "The Garden - Opus VII" Limited Edition Print by Michigan artist Mark Herrick.  The approximate retail value is $1,500.  We don't know what to sell it for, because we don't think we know anyone who has that kind of money to spend, especially right now.  So I think we'll leave it as just "make an offer."

 

"The Love Letter" Limited Edition Collector's Print by Mark Herrick.  The approximate retail value is $700, but the same situation applies as above.  We'll put this one also as just "make an offer."

Kevin's dad made a photo montage of the entire event.  If you'd like to view it, check it out here: Bringing Maria Home Fundraiser Photo Montage

And then I thought I'd end this post with a few photos of Carlos in the leaves.  The last few days of fall:

 

 

A lot of questions, a little anxiety, and some hope

We're in another waiting phase, and that can be good and bad for my mind.  It's good to be able to take a breather, to not feel anxious about getting the next document filled out, notarized, appostilled, or sent somewhere ASAP.  But it can be bad as then I have time to think, to formulate questions, to wonder, and ultimately to worry.  I am a worrier; it's in my genes.  I come from a long line of worriers on my mother's side, and it's hard to stop myself sometimes and remember that Jesus said "Do not worry," and "Do not be anxious about anything...."  I mentioned that I have a lot of questions.  It's true, I do.  These are the questions that have been on my mind lately and the ones I posed today to our case worker at CHSFS (our adoption agency):

Have you heard from Los Pisingos lately about Maria? Are they upset that we're not there yet? We would love to have an update on Maria if that's possible. The documents that they sent when we inquired about her in the summer are now over six months old, and we SOOOO want to know how she is doing now. We would also love an updated photo if that's possible as I'm sure she's changed so much over these past six months. Are these possible for them to send to you to give to us? Or are these things that we will receive as part of the "official" referral once they have our translated dossier? If not, what is part of the official referral? How long does translation take? Once they receive our translated dossier, do you think they'll be able to send us the official referral right away since they are waiting for it to come? The referral that they send to us, this is the information that we use to fill out our I800, right? Do you think that we'll be able to submit our I800 to immigration before Christmas? I'm starting to worry about when we'll be able to travel to Colombia. We are so hoping that we'll be able to go by February. Do you think that's possible? 

And now I wait for her response.   And I continue to wonder and feel a bit anxious about when we will go to Colombia.  I've had it in my mind for the past few months that we'd be traveling in January.  It was a logical timeline if everything in the adoption process continued to progress at the average time length.  But what if our translation takes longer than usual?  What if we aren't able to turn in our I800 before Christmas?  Traveling in January also seemed logical because our calendar is clear!  Kevin's busiest time of the year is the spring, with most of his school visits being in February through April.  He usually has at least a half dozen visits in January and May as well.  This year, he has only one event scheduled for all of January and February!  This is highly unusual, and so it's felt to us like God just cleared our calendar!  And He must have cleared it because we'd be in Colombia, right?  That's what we've enjoyed believing.  And I guess that's still a possibility, but what if that doesn't happen?  What if we don't travel until the end of February or beginning of March?  Kevin has to be in Colombia for at least ten days.  Would he be able to reschedule his school visits?  And if we're not in Colombia for January and February, why is our calendar clear?  How do we get by without an income for two months?  How can we afford not to have Kevin home here in Michigan in March when that's when a large percentage of our yearly income comes in? 

Even as I write out these questions though, even though my mind is racing, right now, I surprisingly feel no anxiety in my heart.  That has to be from God.  He knows my thoughts, concerns, and desires.  He loves Maria even more than we ever will, and He is the one who has formed this family.  He will orchestrate all of the details and we will be with Maria just when we are supposed to be.  I just need to keep reminding myself of that!

And now for some more hope: 

Our friends the Vander Maas's got the call last week to book their flights for today because their presentation date is tomorrow, December 3rd!  (The presentation date is the date that Los Pisingos presents your new children to you.)  This is a huge praise to the Lord for this wonderful gift!  He gave them their hearts desire: to be there before Christmas!  We are so elated for them!  Please keep them in your prayers for peace and strength during this very exciting and anxious time!  And then I have a new blogger friend whose husband and she just got word that their presentation date is January 18th!  They are adopting a sibling group of three boys from Los Pisingos, and we are so excited for them too!  Both of these families have been on their current Colombian journey for the past several years.  Praise God that these families will be together soon! 

P.S. We will post photos and an update from our fundraiser very soon!