Struck down, but not destroyed - Part 2

The past couple of weeks have been....A LOT. 

It started when I got into a car accident on the first really snowy morning in Grand Rapids.  I had just dropped Kevin off at the airport for his five day trip to New Jersey and was on my way to work, with Maria in the back seat.  My mother-in-law was meeting me there to pick Maria up to spend the day with her.  I got off the highway on my exit and turned left onto the overpass.  There is a light at the end of the overpass; it was red.  I pushed on my breaks, but my car didn't stop.  Instead, it slid three car lengths into the white pick-up truck that was in front of me, stopped at the light.  I turned my wheel to the right so that less of my car would hit his, but since there is no shoulder on an overpass, I smashed into the truck.  To make a long story short: the car was totaled.  Maria and I were okay thankfully, as was the other driver.  His bumper was dented, but that is all.  I did have back and neck pain two days later that lasted for an entire week, but I am being treated by a chiropractor and am feeling better.  Maria showed no symptoms of anything, so I think her car seat was effective!  :)

The accident was on a Wednesday.  Nine days later Kevin took my car, the Chevy Impala that we just use for me to drive around town in, to the mechanics as the muffler had been getting progressively louder over the weeks and was now at a deafening level.  It turns out that it was more than a muffler fix.  Now all I can give you is a very rough summary of what turned out to be wrong with it:  something with the entire exhaust system.  And the car had been leaking coolant for months, but we found out this day that it too needed more than just a patch job: something to do with the entire coolant system.  And then the mechanic said that the break pads were 90% worn and that the steering could go out at any moment and so the car was unsafe to drive.  All said, it would cost the same amount to fix the car as what we paid for it back in June! 

So in summary, within a little over a week we went from two cars to zero. 

Thankfully Kevin's grandparents are letting us borrow their car.  I don't know what we would have done without their generosity!

I have been so stressed with getting organized for Christmas this year.  It's the first Christmas that we've had two kids, that I've had a part-time job outside the home, that I'm potty-training (going on five months now), that our business has been so slow, and that I have family coming and staying for a week. (That last one is a great joy, it's just more planning!)  There have been times when I just felt like the life I'm leading is too much for me to handle.  (Not at all in a I'm-might-do-something-drastic kind of way, just in a I'm-going-to-work-myself-into-an-ulcer-or-heart-attack kind of way.)  I know that the stress is due to my personality of being a perfectionistic, type A, people pleaser.  Somewhere along the way over the past year and a half I've lost the ability to relax.  I have a hard time falling asleep.  Even though I'm exhausted each night, my mind races for quite a long time before I fall asleep.  I feel like I've been running on adrenaline the past year and a half.  I'm constantly doing something, because I feel like I always have something that I have to do.  I do love my life, I just need to figure out a better way of living it. 

Last week Carlos was complaining that a particular body part hurt.  After two days I took him in to see the doctor.  She took one look at it, showed me what was going on, and referred us to a specialist.  She then asked me what was going on with his face.  He had red, dry, bumpy patches under his nose and around and under his mouth.  He had been sneezing and blowing his nose all night, so to me it just looked like he had done that too much.  She looked into his throat and then swabbed his tonsil.  It came back positive for Strep! And she said that what was on his face was impetigo, the strep virus on skin - highly contagious.  My first thought was: Gosh, I'm so glad all four of us sleep next to each other in the same room!  So our little guy was prescribed antibiotics for the strep, a cream for the impetigo, and we got in to see the specialist that same afternoon.  The specialist informed us that Carlos needed surgery.  The earliest they could schedule it was a week later.  (Which is today, actually.  The surgery went well and Carlos is recovering nicely.  He will be up and around with not too many problems by tomorrow, so he and all of us will still be able to enjoy our Christmas festivities.) 

So this has all taken place in just a few short weeks.  But, like I said in my title of this post, we have been struck down quite a bit this month, but we are not destroyed.  Amidst this chaos has been some beauty.  There is a story of a dollhouse, one of an elf, and another of brotherly (and sisterly) love. 

For Christmas I decided that I wanted us to give Maria a dollhouse.  She plays with one at speech therapy and has so much fun.  At the store I work at we sell a really nice wooden house, wooden furniture, and wooden doll family (and with brown skin too!  Hard to find!)  But even with my discount it's pricey.  So I started looking on craigslist.  I looked for a couple of different nights, but few were selling doll houses and no one was selling one that I was interested in.  But then one night I saw a posting for a Fisher Price Loving Family doll house that included all of the furniture and dolls.  It was $35.00.  I looked it up on Amazon and found out what a great deal that was!  I emailed the woman and said that I was interested and asked if she could email me a photo.  She wrote back the next day and said that I was the second person to contact her.  The first person was supposed to call her that day, but if she didn't, she would contact me.  That night I received an email from her saying that the woman never called and that she'd send me a photo tomorrow.  So the next day the photo arrived in the afternoon, and it was confirming.  It was a really nice doll house in great shape, and it also included a car which I hadn't known about previously.  Maria would love it!  I wrote her back and said I would like it and that I could pick it up the next day.  But then all evening I just didn't feel completely at peace.  I felt unsettled.  After the kids went to bed I looked at the photo again.  Although it was a great doll house, it wasn't wood like I had wanted.  What Kevin and I want for our kids and family just didn't fit with this toy.  We don't like big plastic toys around our house.  We have some, but we really prefer wooden and natural and green toys if we can help it.  So I just felt this pull between two worlds.  This doll house didn't fit well with our family but was priced affordably.  A wooden doll house would fit our family, but was unaffordable.  Do we just buy a family and maybe a few pieces of wooden furniture for Maria for Christmas and then save up to get her a doll house and more furniture later?  Or do we just say: you know what, we can't afford what we want.  That is the reality for most people.  So just suck it up, and be grateful for what we can afford.  The latter is what we decided and I felt okay with this.  Before going to bed I checked my email one last time and there was an email from the seller.  She said that she feels really badly but her daughter came home from school, saw the doll house all set up, and now doesn't want to sell it.  She hasn't played with it in two years, but loved the way her mom (the seller) had arranged everything.  She has two other doll houses so her mom asked her which one she would be okay with selling.  Her daughter said that she'd be willing to sell her wooden doll house and so this email to me was asking how I felt about having a wooden one instead!  She'd sell it to me for the same price.  Incredible!  I would never have thought to ask God for a wooden doll house for Maria, but He knew and fulfilled that desire of mine.  Isn't that beautiful?!?  (This email came the night before Kevin took my car in and discovered all of the problems with it.)

Yesterday there was a knock at the door.  I opened it to see a man I didn't recognize standing there.  He asked if I was Stephanie and when I said yes, he handed me what looked to be a tin of cookies and he said, "I'm supposed to tell you that this is from an elf.  That's all I can say." And then he turned around and left.  I looked across the street, thinking it was our neighbor's quirky way this year of delivering their annual Christmas cookies.  I opened it up to find a note that said, "God loves you and so do we!"  Under the note were not cookies at all, but coins!  Lots and lots of coins!  There was tissue paper underneath and I noticed a corner of something sticking out.  I lifted the tissue paper to find dollar bills!  And then under that tissue paper was more dollar bills!  And then under that layer and the next and the next and the next were more and more bills!  What?!?  Who would do this for us?  We still have no idea, but to the elves out there: THANK YOU SO MUCH!  What a beautiful gift to us!  We are humbled and grateful. 

And then lastly, ever since the accident I have been wanting to get new car seats for the kids.  The timing also coincided with me learning more about car seats and car seat safety at work, as we sell a top of the line brand there.  The more I have found out, the more I realize how unsafe the car seats and booster seats we've been using for the kids are.  They are expired (didn't know they could expire!) and don't attach to the car in a very safe manner.  Most of the car seats on the market, although approved, are not the safest that they can be.  There are many features lacking that have been proven to be much more life-saving.  (I'm not going to go into detail here about all that I've learned about car seat safety, but feel free to ask me about it anytime.)  Knowing this, it's hard for me to be okay with just buying any ol' new seat.  But the ones that are the safest are of course the most expensive.  So again, my battle in my head goes on about what to do.  I was talking to my sister and brother-in-law about this yesterday and do you know what they did today?  They bought us new car seats for the kids, the ones that I really wanted that we sell at the store I work at!  Another beautiful gift from two beautiful people. 

God provides.  He rescues.  He loves.  We are humbly reminded of that as we celebrate Jesus' birthday this week.  Merry Christmas! 

Struck down, but not destroyed

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."  2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Thankful

On this the last night of our Thanksgiving weekend, I thought that I would take some time to reflect on what I am thankful for:

For my children who are funny and frustrating, beautiful and bewildering, and exhausting yet exhilerating.  We've had many difficult times over the past eight months, but I know that we are becoming a cohesive family.  It is slow and painful work, but when those sweet moments between Carlos and Maria happen every once in a while and they are belly-laughing together, it is all worth it.  I love them both very much and am so thankful to God for bringing them into our lives and creating this family of ours.

For my wonderful, kind-hearted, loving husband.  We're a good team.  Thank you God for opening our hearts to each other over ten years ago, and may You continue to work in and through us and our marriage!

For a God who loves me more than I will ever know, despite my failures and many, many short-comings.  I have felt very distant from Him ever since being in Colombia.  This distance isn't from Him though; I know that He is always near me.  It's me who has been distant from Him.  I haven't made time over these past months to just be still and pray and then listen to Him like I used to.  I do pray, actually quite often throughout the day, but my prayers are either quick and selfish or are incoherent ramblings as I'm trying to go to sleep at night but my mind keeps racing on about everything under the sun.  I know that He hears me and that He knows my heart and what I'm actually wanting to say or needing to say, but oh do I miss those times when I could feel Him near me and when I would be quiet long enough to hear Him.  I am so thankful that He will not give up on me though.  He is waiting with open arms for me to come close again.

For the way that God has provided for our financial needs over these past few difficult months.  One of those ways is through me getting a job at a local, independent children's store.  It's such a great fit for me and our family and I'm so thankful to be working there! 

For parents who are so supportive of us and so generous to us in so many ways.  We are very blessed to have two sets of wonderful parents!

For the friends that we've made at our new church home.  One family in particular lives so close to us that we can walk to their house.  We all enjoy spending time together; It feels like we've known them for years.  And that is a beautiful thing.

For old friends who even though we don't see them very often or even talk to them very often, whenever we do connect it feels like no time has passed.  Those friendships are so special and we are so thankful for them!

For our siblings who are beautiful, loving, awesome people!  We are so lucky to have them in our lives!  And for our neices and nephews who are just precious!

We have a lot to be thankful for!

Reparando

Kevin and I and his parents went tonight to see the premiere of the documentary film "Reparando," which in English means "repairing."  God is in the business of repairing brokenness, and there is a lot of brokenness in the people of Guatemala.  They are still living in the aftermath of a 36 year civil war that ended in 1996.  It tore the country apart, ravaged families, and displaced thousands upon thousands of people who tried to escape the violence.  Now 75% of Guatemalans live below the poverty line, which according to the film means not having enough food and resources for the day.  Some of the largest slums in Latin America can be found in Guatemala.  One of them is named La Limonada, in Guatemala City.  It is one mile long and half a mile wide, and sits on the outskirts of the city dump (24+ football fields in size.)  Gangs and drugs and violence permeate it.  Most of the 60,000 people who live there are what are called scavengers; they work 10-14 hours a day scavenging through the trash, collecting anything that may be of value in order to sell it.  This is how they and their families survive day in and day out.   

But amongst all of this, there is a hope that is rising.  This film shares with us the stories of two individuals, Tita and Shorty, who have been restored by God from pasts of abuse and drugs and gangs.  They are now working with the people of La Limonada, "to repair the next generation."  Not wanting to give too much away, I'll just say that this is a powerful, moving, haunting, and beautiful film that shows the power of God's redemption in a person's life. 

http://www.reparandomovie.com/

We've been so focused on Colombia this year, it felt really good tonight to come home feeling more connected to Guatemala, to have a renewed passion for this beautiful country where our son was born.

Maria's Third Birthday! October 8, 2010

Our little Ia turned three years old last Friday!  Ia is the name she calls herself, said like the last part of Maria, and we all think it's so cute that it's stuck as our nickname for her. :)  (So as of right now our kids call each other Arlo and Ia!)

Maria's birthday was a good day.  I had been practicing with her all week on how to answer the question, "How old are you?" and to hold up three fingers.  She gets so proud of herself when she does this.  She gets this determined little look on her face as she carefully touches her thumb to her pinky and then with concentrated effort puts up her three other fingers.  I love it!

On birthday mornings I like to make that person's favorite breakfast.  For Kevin that's scrambled eggs with some sauteed veggies and cheese mixed in, toast with butter, and a sausage (now soy).  For Carlos it's pancakes with maple syrup and strawberry jam.  For Maria, it's huevos (eggs.)  She loves to eat scrambled eggs and can eat three easily!  So that meal was easy: huevos, check.  For lunch and dinner?  Not so easy.  I should have planned ahead better and made a soup for lunch and Colombian lentils for dinner maybe.  But with ArtPrize going on (more about that in a later post) and our friend from NJ in town, it just didn't happen.  She did not love her next two meals that day, but thankfully she's young enough that she doesn't really understand birthdays yet anyway!  I did make birthday cupcakes though, and they were enjoyed by all!

As I was thinking about her special day and how to celebrate it, I realized that we do not know many of her favorite things.  She's in between languages right now.  She now understands English more than she does Spanish and speaks more English than Spanish, but she doesn't understand enough English or remember enough Spanish to comprehend everything we're saying or to communicate her thoughts.  She shows no signs of frustration about this though, so that's good, but I was a bit saddened when I thought about how I don't know her like I know Carlos.  If I wanted to buy some balloons, what color should I get?  She's shown no interest in a particular color over another, so I don't know what her favorite is.  What dessert should I make for her?  I don't know her favorite.  Etc.  I know that knowledge of these things will come with time.  So instead of focusing on what I don't know, I'm going to focus on (and share with you) what I do know!

Maria really enjoys riding her bike as well as riding in the carrier on the back of Kevin's bike.  We think she would do this for hours if we let her!  She loves to do puzzles, play with cars, and "play" with board games.  She's interested in anything that Carlos has that he doesn't want her to touch.  She loves pushing buttons on anything she can reach (whether or not she's allowed to!): phones, remotes, CD players, the washer and dryer, toys, etc.  She wants to be held around the house when we want her to walk around freely, and she wants to walk around freely when we're out in public and we want her to be held!  She is shy around those she first meets, and is very quiet.  At home she talks all the time and is very loud!  (A good sign that she's comfortable at home with us, right?!)  And something we discovered while at Plan B during ArtPrize: she loves to play musical instruments!

Although we've been having a hard time with her lately (Maria can be naughty!!  Another sign that she's now comfortable with us?), we love her to pieces!  Her smile and laugh can brighten up a room.  She is a gift from God, precious in His sight (and in ours!) 

The Days of Summer 2010

I was planning on updating photos at the end of every month, but then it was the end of July and I still hadn’t posted photos from May or June yet. So I thought that I might as well wait and just post photos from the entire summer. And now suddenly it’s October. Can anyone relate?!?  :)

We got a cat!  His name is Alex and Carlos is enamored with him!

 

 We picked black raspberries from our backyard and made jam.  Delicious!

We went to the beach more this summer than we had in the past several summers combined.  Both of the kids absolutely love to play in the sand! 

 We went to the Great Wolf Lodge in Traverse City with Kevin's parents, sisters, and their kids. 
We all had a blast!

Kevin's grandparents with all of their great grandkids!

A Long Overdue Update

I'm not sure where to begin as it's been so long since I've written.  The past couple of months have been full: full of activities, full of appointments, full of family, full of...life. 

It feels like we have now settled into a "normal" way of life, albeit a new "normal" from our life before Maria.  Although we've never been a family who has the same schedule week after week, month after month like most, it does feel like we have a natural rhythm going.  It feels good. 

Carlos has been in summer school over the past six weeks.  Tomorow is his last day.  Fifteen Kindergarten students out of the five Kindergarten classrooms were chosen to participate this summer, and Carlos was one of them.  His Kindergarten teacher was the one teaching the class, so it felt very natural to Carlos. He had no anxiety.  Plus, a few of the students from his school year class were chosen as well, so that made it much easier for him to go, knowing several of the students.  He had one week off after the school year was over, and then he has been going every Monday through Thursday morning.  With being absent from school for six weeks this spring due to being in Colombia and because of Eric's passing, summer school has really helped Carlos improve his writing and speaking in Spanish!  He will now be ready for first grade!

As I mentioned in previous posts, Carlos has been seeing a counselor once a week for several months now.  He has been making such great progress with the processing of his emotions, his fears, his security, his identity.  There have been no intense outburts for the past month, and he is enjoying his life more.  He is more at ease, more grounded.  He and Maria play really well together for good periods of time throughout each day.  At one point this week I asked him if he hated his sister still, and he said no!  Their relationship now seems like a typical sibling relationship.  Praise God!

Kevin has done a beautiful job talking with Carlos through all of his questions, thoughts, and emotions.  Kevin puts him to bed almost every night, and he has created a safe, loving space for Carlos to talk with him each night before going to sleep.  Carlos knows that he can ask any question, that they can talk about anything.  There are some nights where their talks last only a few minutes before Carlos drifts off to sleep, but there have been many, many nights where they are talking for an hour to an hour and a half.  This takes a tremendous amount of patience and strength and wisdom on Kevin's part as, even though we all want what's best for our kids and to give them what they need, we as parents do all look forward to the time each night when the kids are asleep and we can have some "me" and/or "us" time.  Kevin has sacrificed many, many hours of work and relaxation to give Carlos the time he needs to process through all that's going on in his little head.  What a blessing Kevin is to this family.  He is an amazing father.  I am so proud of him!

Besides going to school and counseling, Carlos has been enjoying our trips to the beach, catching toads in the yard, reading (he can read books in Spanish AND English!), drawing, playing with friends and cousins, and going fishing with Daddy. (Carlos LOVES fishing, and we're not sure where he got that from!  Kevin is NOT a fisherman, but bless his heart he has learned all about it and takes Carlos.  I tell ya, he's quite the dad!)

And now for Maria!  Over the past month and a half, she has seen the pediatric opthamologist and the pediatric endocrinologist.  Both said that everything looks good and is normal!  The endocrinologist did have us do more bloodwork to check Maria's hormone levels and also get an x-ray of her hand and wrist to check her bone maturation, which we did last week.  If everything looks good, then he'll just want to see us once a year for a checkup.  Same with the opthamologist.  So all is well on the medical front!! 

Oh, and we have health insurance for Maria now!  We qualified for Michigan's Healthy Kids coverage for both kids for the year, and they retroed it to start in March so all of Maria's appointments, blood work, x-rays, etc., are covered!!  This is a huge praise to God! 

A woman from Early On services of Michigan has been coming to our home once a month starting last month to give us support for Maria educationally until Maria is 36 months old.  She came yesterday for the second time and was amazed at the progress Maria has made in just one month!  Her language has really blossomed.  She easily has about 75 words now and is putting two and three words together.  Her play is more focused, her pincer grasp is strong...she is just learning and growing like crazy!  She's still quite behind her same aged peers in language, (which I don't notice until we're around other two year old little girls!) but at the rate she's going, she'll catch up in no time! 

In the past two weeks, Maria's independence and stubbornness have been shining through.  And a little bit of naughtiness too!  She has learned the word "mine" and really enjoys using it, even when it's not true!  She also says "this way" and likes to direct our paths whenever we're out walking.  It's so very cute! 

Oh, I almost forgot to report that she's been sleeping through the night ever since our curtains fell down!  We thought of everything that it could possibly be except that it was too dark!  Now that we leave the curtains partially open through the night, she sleeps great!  It's been wonderful not dreading going to bed!

This summer Maria has been enjoying playing in the agua (any agua!), going to the beach (she LOVES the sand, just like her big brother does!), mowing the grass with Daddy (she rides on his back in the Ergo), going for walks with Momma, and just playing!  Her favorite toys are cars, blocks, the train set, and costume jewelry - that's our well-rounded little girl!

Kevin has been keeping busy with library visits and collaborating with other local artists and creative thinkers for ArtPrize 2010.  If you want to find out more about what their doing, you'll have to contact Kevin.  You can check him out on Facebook.  It's very cool stuff! 

I have just been busy being a mom, wife, and home maker!  And boy do I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day!  I am excited to say that I cook a Colombian meal once a week - that's been delicious.  When we first got home I tried numerous recipes a week, but over the months we've narrowed down our favorites.  Our family's favorite meal is a Colombian lentil dish that we eat with white rice.  The kids want me to make it once a week, and it makes great left overs, so I've been trying to do that.  They both gobble it down!  There is a great cookbook that I use that was recommended by several adoptive moms called "The Secrets of Colombian Cooking."  Now if only I could find a great Guatemalan cookbook!  I have a few recipes, but all are with meat, so....my search continues...

I would love to have included photos with this post, but I'll have to save those for another day.  Until then!

The Updated Family Photos

Carlos and Maria - an Update

I wanted to give an update on how things have been going with Maria and with Carlos.  We've had quite a journey with these little ones these past couple of months.  First of all, they are precious!  My heart tonight was just filled with so much love for both of them.  We had such a fun, relaxing, and enjoyable dinner together, and it just felt so right.  This family of four that God put together...wow...it's amazing.  He knew from the beginning of time what our family would be.  And what an awesome responsibility that is for us as parents to reflect upon.  God specifically chose Kevin and I to be the parents of Carlos and of Maria.  Out of all of the people in the entire world, He chose us.  Who we are and who we will become will impact these two little lives like no one else will.  Please God, give us your wisdom and strength.  Guide us as we partner with You to teach and encourage and discipline and love. 

So as you know, Maria was diagnosed with Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, which means that she is missing the middle section of her brain that connects the two hemispheres together.  This is a pretty rare condition, and the effects of it can be very severe impairment or, as we're learning, no impairment at all.  We said yes to God to welcome this little child into our home not knowing what our journey with her was going to look like, not worrying about the potentially frightening realities of parenting a child with moderate to severe special needs.  No parent knows what their journey with their child will look like, yet we did know some possible scenarios regarding Maria based on what we've read about most kids diagnosed with ACC. 

And I think that's the key word right there: diagnosed.  Most kids who are diagnosed with ACC were diagnosed because there were problems or indicators that something wasn't functioning/happening like it should with typical development, and so they underwent testing and an MRI to determine what was going on.  So the infants and children who were showing signs of difficulty are the ones with ACC who are most often diagnosed.  What we've found out recently from several doctors is that there are thousands of people walking around this earch without their corpus collosum and don't even know it!  There have been many, many cases where a person went in for an MRI for something later in their life and through that process found out that they have ACC.  They have been functioning normally their whole life and no one knew or would have suspected that they were missing such an important part of their brain!  Amazingly, we think that's what's going on with Maria. 

The U.S. Embassy doctor in Colombia whom we saw in order to be allowed to exit Colombia and come back into the States said that he would never have known or suspected that she has ACC if I didn't tell him or if he hadn't read it in her medical file.  He said that she is functioning normally and he has no concerns for her health!  Although this was good news and confirmed what we were seeing in her while with her in Colomiba, we still didn't know if that was completely true or if that would remain true of her.  We took her to the pediatrician's office about a month ago though, and he said the same thing!  He said that he would never have ordered an MRI done because he never would have suspected that there was anything atypical about her.  He did want us to have her MRI scans over-read by a pediatric radiologist at DeVos Children's Hospital though, just to get their perspective and expertise.  They confirmed that she is missing her corpus collosum, but also said that there are cysts in her brain and that there is something not quite right with her optic nerves.  Our pediatrician said that he wasn't concerned, but wanted to refer us to a pediatric neurologist anyway since there are several things going on with her brain and the neurologist would be the best person to check her out to see what if anything is going on. 

So we went and saw the pediatric neurologist two weeks ago.  Once again, he confirmed that Maria is developing well, is alert and bright, and he doesn't forsee any problems with her due to her ACC.  He can't make any promises of course, and we have to wait and see what she'll be like regarding academics once that comes into play for her.  But for right now though, she is doing very well! 

He did say that although she is doing really well right now, there are three areas of potential concern in people with ACC that we all need to be aware of.  One is seisure activity.  People with any brain malformation are at a higher risk than the general population for having seisure disorders, so we just need to know the signs and keep an eye on her.  The second area of potential concern is optic nerve disfunction (Disfunction is my word, not his.  He had a much fancier term that I can't remember!)  He is referring us to a pediatric opthamologist to get her checked out since her optic nerves are a little on the small side.  (Although he did say that it could just be the angle of the MRI scan of that part of her brain that is making them look a little smaller, and that possibly they are not smaller at all.)  The third area of potential concern is regarding her pituitary gland.  Since the pituitary gland is located in the center of the brain, people with ACC often have trouble with their pituitary system.  They either hit puberty really early or really late or not at all.  So, he is referring us to a pediatric endocronologist as well, just to get a baseline on Maria and so that we can establish that relationship now and can keep an eye on things as she develops. 

Although going to all of these specialists sounds like she is unhealthy and has a lot of challenges to overcome, she is actually doing great and seeing all of these specialists is just to be proactive. 

We had her evaluated by early childhood specialists in our district last week and they said that she is functioning at about 19 months old right now pretty much across the board.  We knew she had developmental delays before we got her, and that many children who have lived in an orphanage have delays.  They were not concerned with her development though, and feel like she will catch up to her same age peers over the next couple of months.  Already since she's been with us she went from speaking no words spontaneosly to having a vocabulary of around 25 words and counting.  And she is a fast learner!  If we show her how to do something once, she has it.  It's amazing.  She's like a little sponge!  :) 

Maria is sweet, funny, silly, bright, and curious, and we love her very much!

Carlos has been having the hardest time out of all of us with this transition of becoming a family of four.  He is struggling with some deep, intense emotions, and so we have started seeing an attachment and family therapist.  This was our third week, and already we can tell that this was a very good decision.  Carlos is very open with us about his thoughts and feelings, but he opens up to Mr. Ellis even more so, and it's so helpful to witness.  If we look at what the past few months have been like for Carlos, he is doing remarkably well and has grown so much.  Yes, there are still times of intense emotions from him and times of difficulty and challenges with him, but things are so much better than what they were the first couple of weeks in Colombia.  Praise God for that!  Please pray with us that he continues to open up and share during therapy, and that he will be open to hearing the truth about who he is in Christ, who God made him to be.  (One of the issues he is struggling with is identity, as most adoptees do.)  And please pray that Kevin and I will have open hearts and minds and ears to hear what Carlos is really saying through his words and actions. 

Carlos is doing really well at school, and is continuing to amaze us with his capacity to learn in two languages!  Last week he read part of a book in English, and part of a book in Spanish!  And he is writing complete thoughts in Spanish, two sentences about the same topic.  In Kindergarten!  We are very proud of him. 

Carlos is a thoughtful, inquisitive, curious, sensitive, kind-hearted, funny, quirky, creative boy, and we love him oh so very much!

What a gift God has given us in our children, and what a journey we are on.  We thank Him and praise Him through both the good and challenging times.  We shall see what unfolds for our family as we try to just take life a day at a time.  :)

It Was a Crappy Day

No, I mean literally.  The stuff was coming up out of our drain in the basement.  Apparently the flushable biodegradable inserts that I've been using to cloth diaper Maria haven't been flushing down the toilet as beautifully as I thought.  So as of this morning, any time water goes down a drain in our house, unpleasant waste comes back up into our basement.  Nice.  Kevin called our neighbor down the street who's a plumber and he said he'd be able to come by later in the afternoon.  Kevin decided to rent a machine that would clean out the pipes from the basement to the street.  The rental of the machine is available for four hours or if he waited until 4:00 p.m., he could have it overnight.  We decided we could wait so that he and our neighbor wouldn't have to rush to fix the problem.  Well...our neighbor did come by and was able to help Kevin get the machine down to the basement.  He showed Kevin what to do, and said he should be fine.  Unfortunately he had a lot of other things going on tonight.  So...Kevin was on his own.  But it turns out that the job wasn't quite as easy as it seemed.  The snake like pipe thingy would go no further than a foot down the hole.  Tried as he did, he just couldn't get it any further.  So now it's after five o'clock on a Friday and we have to call a plumber who will undoubtedly charge us double for having to come out on a weekend night.  Ugh.  So much for saving money trying to do it ourselves. 

The guy is actually finally here right now - at 10:00 p.m. 

It's just been that kind of a week.  We've had SWARMS of crawling and flying ants trying to start new colonies in our roommate's bathroom, a toilet that overflowed with - you guessed it - and flooded the bathroom floor, leaking down into the aforementioned roommate's bedroom, our bathroom has been out of commission for over a week due to our reglazing of the tub and sink (it's been chipping so much that the chips were getting stuck under the kids' nails during their baths) (it was only supposed to take three days), our phone, cable, and internet went out yesterday for the entire day, and we found out that our insurance will not add Maria to our policy even though we were told by our agent before we left for Colombia that she'd be added as soon as we were home.  We now need to have a new policy for the four of us but anything related to a pre-existing condition of Maria's will not be covered until December.  So our visit to the pediatrician's, the two blood draws she had, the visit to the pediatric neurologist, and the upcoming visits to the pediatric opthamologist and endocronologist will have to be paid out of pocket.  Ugh again. 

Now any one of these things on their own is simply an inconvenience.  (Okay, except for maybe that last one.)  But I must say that all of it piling up together like it did this week feels pretty stressful to us. 

And then the really bad news is that Kevin's sister Kristi's cancer is back in full force, and this has been her first week back on chemo.  She's been sick.  And her husband Brian had to go to the hospital yesterday as he woke up covered in hives.  They asked if he's been under any stress lately.  Ummm...just a bit. 

We would love your prayers.  For strength and peace for us and for all of our family.  The good news is that the ant guy was finally able to come today and spray, the tub guy came today as well to finally finish the job, and the AT& T guy came first thing this morning to replace our modem.  So that's all been good.  Tomorrow is a new day.  And we'll be able to use our toilets and sinks.  It's going to be okay. 


"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD."  Psalm 31:24

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield."  Psalm 33:20

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."  Psalm 42:5

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

Only Love

So the night that I wrote the previous post was the absolute worst night of sleep I can ever remember having.  Maria was up most of the night.  Fussing.  I have no idea why.  She has progressively become a worse sleeper as our time together has grown longer, but Sunday night was the worst.  I spent the entire night feeling angry.  And numb.  It really sounds as though it is not possible to feel both, but somehow I did.  I have come to dread going to bed each night because I don't know how many times she'll wake up and fuss throughout it.  But tonight, when I went upstairs to comfort her in her tears (before even going to bed), I scooped up this beautiful wet mess of a girl and just hugged her tight.  As I lay in bed with her, her fussing quieted down and her breathing slowed down to normal, and I couldn't help but think how amazing it is that God chose ME to be her mother.  This precious little girl never had someone to hold her and rock her throughout the night before if she needed it.  Never had someone lay with her in bed, holding her tight, and kissing her sweaty little curls.  Until now.  And so tonight, the memories of the other night are fading in importance in my mind, and tonight have been replaced with only love.  And gratitude to our loving Father for putting our family together.

Reflections on Mother's Day

The only thing I wanted today was to not have to cook or clean.  I wanted a day to just be, and not do.  A day that I can take a nap if I want to, and not feel guilty about it.  A day to relax and enjoy.  But as the day has progressed, although my wonderful and caring husband did his very best, the day just didn't unfold as peacefully as each of us hoped.  It was a tough day.  Carlos is really struggling a lot with all of the huge changes in his life right now, and his behavior and attitude are reflecting this.  (We are starting counseling on Wednesday...more on this later.)  Leaving church today I just felt so down.  It feels like there is no place for us there right now.  It's way too soon to put Maria in the nursery, and Carlos doesn't want to go if Maria doesn't have to go.  And since he's been gone from it for over two months, we don't blame him.   So as soon as the songs are over, we have to leave the sactuary.  They are just too noisy, even when they are behaving well.  They are just being two and five, but we don't want to disturb others so we leave.  There is a cry room off of the sanctuary, but it's really meant for moms with babies who need to be fed or rocked to sleep.  They tolerate us in the there when we've tried that in weeks past, but we know it's not meant for us.  And the lobby has speakers, but they are so quiet we can't hear what the pastor is saying.  So where do we go?  Back home.  I know that this is just the phase that we are in right now, but I miss being at church.  So today leaving church I just cried.  It's frustrating and difficult for our family right now.  We're just in a really hard place, with so much going on, so many emotions involved.  And I know that Kevin felt bad that this was Mother's Day and it wasn't giving me the relaxation and enjoyment he wanted for me, and that I wanted for me too.  The more I thought about it though, as the afternoon progressed on, the more my heart began to change.  I don't know why it did, but I'm very thankful for it. 
As I stood there doing dishes and baking a cake with the kids (Kevin was taking care of the curtains that fell off the wall in our bedroom - a very frustrating and draining home repair!), I had this thought: Maybe today isn't about me, as far as having a day to do whatever I would like to do, a day to rest and relax.  Maybe it's a day about completely embracing my motherhood.  Maybe it's a day to strive to be the very best mom I can be.  Yes, I know I should do that every day, but maybe on Mother's Day that striving should be extra sweet and full of meaning.  It's a day where I should be counting my blessings, not looking to be blessed.  God has given me two beautiful, amazing children, and has trusted me with their care.  Mother's Day should be a day that I intentionally look at them through His eyes and see them for who He has made them to be.  And rejoice in that!  And enjoy being a mom - with all the ups and downs that that entails - and do all the mom things that I normally do, but on this day, with a renewed passion for why I do them.  Motherhood is a blessing, it's a gift, and today I am very thankful to be a mom!

Our First Month Home!