Thursday, February 18, 2010

The storm before the calm?

Our paperwork is all organized, our bills are all paid, our finances are in order, correspondences with schools are all taken care of (this last one is thanks to Katie, our super office manager/marketing manager/voice of reason extraordinaire!)  And then I started in with packing after dinner.  Yes, I should have done this days ago.  And I sort of did, weeks ago, when we thought we were leaving sooner.  But since then most things have slowly gotten unpacked, and we've also slowly accumulated more things for Maria and our trip, so basically I was starting all over again!  Our goal is to pick Carlos up from school tomorrow and then drive straight to my parents' house in Metro Detroit.  I am going to have to kick it into high gear tomorrow!  Please pray that I use my time wisely, that I have energy to get everything done that still needs to be done, and that I stay focused on what's important, not worrying about the little things.  (But I would also like prayers that I don't forget to pack any of the little things that we need to bring with us!) 

More importantly, we would love your prayers for Carlos.  Tonight was a really rough night with him.  Ever since he got home from school his body was constantly moving, and he was intermittently loud, energetic, whiny, demanding.  He was testing boundaries left and right, and was often rude.  He's been like this many times over the past couple of weeks, with one night two weekends ago ending in him raging for over an hour.  (I don't mean throwing a tantrum.  Raging is very different, and very scary.)  Tonight he spiraled down to tears and screaming.  For over an hour.  It was heart breaking and very difficult for us to see him fall apart like this.  His little world is spinning out of control, and it's very hard for him to hold on.  He doesn't know what to hold on to.  Please pray with us that God would give him His peace, and heal his heart wear it is broken (Carlos often speaks of a broken heart on emotional nights like these.)  Pray that God would give us His wisdom to know how best to parent Carlos, the ability to be in tune with what Carlos needs, to be able to read his behaviors for what they truly are - a way that Carlos is expressing his emotions that he doesn't know how to express any other way, or doesn't even fully know that they are there, and strength for us to get through long nights like tonight.

I'm realistic that there will probably be many more storms that come our way over the next few weeks and months, but I'm hoping that there are many more periods of calm to outweigh the storms.  While Carlos was screaming tonight, all I could do was pray, with tears in my eyes, just call out to God for help.  Tonight I found this verse:  Psalm 107:28-30:
28 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
       and he brought them out of their distress.
 29 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
       the waves of the sea were hushed.
 30 They were glad when it grew calm,
       and he guided them to their desired haven.

That's exactly what it felt like once Carlos calmed down and finally fell asleep.  I pray that going to God would be our first response in a storm.  He is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1-3)

2 comments:

lulu said...

Our prayers are with you and with Carlos. We have found a great website/resource in Journey to Me in our preparation for our next adoption:
http://www.journeytome.com/index.cfm
It has some great reading articles and audio files. In one of the articles it says, "Children most often know the truth – they lived it! We need to validate their truth,
document their truth, and where possible, show them the truth." The best we can do is help our children "through" and honor their experience as human beings. This is a comforting thought as we prepare for our next two, whom we fully expect to have experienced some trauma in their young lives. May God walk beside Carlos and you as you open YOUR hearts and arms to this beautiful little girl!

Lisa VPC

John and Kristi said...

Go in peace...may God be your guide!! Saying special prayers for Carlos as we know all to well the effects of being in a foreign land and adding a new addition to the family has on our boys! Praying over this day for you...and trusting God's ways and timing are so good and perfect for your family! Take in your quiet weekend in Bogota...as soon you will have Maria in your arms! Praise God for what He is going to do among you! Love, Kristi (for the rest of the gang)