How Things Have Been Going

I can't believe that tomorrow it will be ten days already that we've been in Colombia.  It's been an amazing experience so far!  Here are some general updates about each of us and what has been going on over here...

I'll start with Maria:  She is such a delight and a joy!  Her caregivers at Los Pisingos described her as calm and sweet and she is definitely both of those!  She is also very curious, likes to do things herself (as is common with kids who've been raised in an orphanage), has a great laugh, looks up to her big brother, loves to brush her teeth (well, it's more like she loves to suck off the toothpaste! - don't worry, it's floride free so is safe to swallow!) and has a huge appetite!  On the first morning that we had her, she ate four scrambled eggs, a piece of toast, and a full glass of milk!  She also really enjoys eating soup (which we have a different one every day for lunch), and bananas (which she sucks on for a few minutes before chewing).  She doesn't say a lot of words, but she does babble a lot!  The words she does say are: Carlos ("Arlo" she calls him!  This is by far the word we hear the most!), hola, ciao (as in "chow! - goodbye!), mama, and no. 

When we first got her, she carried around everywhere with her this little photo album that we sent her back around Christmas time.  It has photos of mostly Kevin, Carlos, and I but also some photos of our house, our roommates, the grandparents, and her.  She looked at it frequently (I would say almost constantly) throughout the day and had to have it within arms reach at all times or she'd get very upset.  She also had to have near her this little monkey stuffed animal that we gave to her at the same time as the photo album, and these four little plastic horses that we gave her when we first met her at Los Pisingos.  (They had told us the day before at our meeting that in order to help prepare her for us, the psychologist used four differing sized horses to teach her about family - a dad, mom, brother, and sister.  When we were at the store later that day we saw a little bag of four plastic horses, and had to get them!)  Each day she's looked at the photo album a little less and less (still needing to sleep with it though!), but yesterday was the first time that we didn't have to take all of these things with us when we left the room or hotel!  Such a breakthrough!

Carlos...where do I start with this beautiful boy?  We had a wonderful time together as a family of three during our first days here in Bogota.  He has been testing us a lot over the past few weeks, pushing boundaries, being easily and deeply angered, etc., but most of the time was great with him when we first arrived.  And then the day came that we got Maria.  The first night that we had her he enjoyed making her laugh and even said "It feels like we've always had her."  But then reality set in quickly the next morning.  She's smelly (after she does the deed in her diaper), she's messy (while eating), and she babbles, grunts, and squeals which he does not understand or like one bit!  She also takes most of Mom's attention and a lot of Dad's.  He's very jealous.  To put it nicely, he intensely dislikes her.  But from his perspective, what's good about having her in our family now?  It has been a very rough road with him this week.  There have been a few good moments, but mostly it's been tough.  The good news is though, that today was much better!  Thanks to one of the dad's here (Tony, I'm talking about you!), yesterday I finally told Carlos that enough was enough.  It's okay for him to have these feelings, to be angry and to not like Maria, but it is not okay to be mean to her or to be rude to Mom and Dad.  There will now be negative consequences if he does these things.  Previously we hadn't been disciplining him for these things as we know how tough this is for him.  Of course we'd talk to him about it, tell him what he's doing is not okay, and make him stop, but we weren't strict with him nor giving him consequences.  Today he was back to his old self most of the day!  Full of joy and a positive attitude, he even shared nicely with his sister and was respectful and responsible.  Hopefully we've reached a turning point! 

Another thing that's helped is finally figuring out a bed time routine that works for all of us.  It took a few days, but now we put Maria to bed first while Carlos plays with Jacob after dinner, and then Carlos goes to bed.  That has helped a ton with the jealosy factor!

Carlos has been playing a lot with his new amigo, Jacob Houseman, who's seven.  Thank the Lord for the Houseman family being here!  What a different experience it would be if they were not here!  Jacob and Carlos play for hours each day, and it's so wonderful for Carlos to have some fun time away from his new little sister during this adjustment period.  They both have wonderful imaginations, and Jacob is so patient with Carlos.  Their play ranges from running around the hotel in squeals of laughter chasing each other, to holing themselves up in a little nook and cranny of the hotel playing dinosaurs.  What memories they are making together!

Carlos has also been enjoying time with Mama putting him to bed and cuddling with him at night, boys time with Daddy playing, and playing with his SpiderMan guys and doing computer games.  He has not really enjoyed the food here, only breakfast where he can have french toast every day, so that's been a little struggle for us.  Yesterday we bought a loaf of bread and some peanut butter though so now if he doesn't like what is served, that is his option.  Things are getting better!

Kevin is doing well in general, but the first few days after we got Maria were tough for him too.  He was feeling a bit jealous of the bonding that was taking place between me and Maria, and he had to do most of the parenting of Carlos during his most challenging phase.  (Since Kevin is leaving on March 6th to go back to Michigan, it made sense to us to focus on Maria and I bonding.)  And on the first Sunday that we were here, he got a massive sunburn on his head that has left his scalp and ears peeling like neither of us have every seen anyone peel before! 

But Kevin is an amazing man, and very strong.  He has been so patient, loving, and good with Carlos, so loving and fun with Maria, and so supportive of me.  We are very blessed to have him as Daddy and Husband in our family!  We will miss him terribly when he's gone!

(Kevin's parents are coming on Tuesday and staying for two weeks, so I'll have help with the kids as we transition to not having Kevin with us.  We're looking forward to seeing them!)

I have been doing really well.  All of you who have been praying for me and for us, I can feel it!  God has been blessing me with patience and strength.  For the most part I've been able know how to respond to each of the kids, how to parent them well and be who they each need.  That is all from God!  It has been and continues to be my biggest prayer, that I will be the parent that each of them need. 

And my second biggest prayer has been for health.  We are all doing well so far.  The cook at the hotel, Juanita, has been AMAZING!  She bought alternative meat (soy based) for me and makes special dishes for me for each meal without milk or cheese.  My meals has been absolutely delicious and just what my body needs.  I no longer feel anxious about eating or getting the nourishment I need.  Isn't God fantastic?!  Thank you for lifting our family up in your prayers! 

Just like Juanita, the rest of the staff at Hotel Paris is fabulous!  So kind, so helpful, so fun!  What a blessing to be here.  And the families who are staying here - so wonderful!  Our experience is deeper and richer for knowing them and journeying with them.  Thank you Thompsons, Housemans, Aherns, Phyllis and Kurt, and Tracey and Jeremy!  (And thank you to the Tanners, too, who are on this journey with us but who are staying with family nearby!)

Tomorow we'll post photos from the weekend!  Good night!